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Reply to "Drunk with Blood"

Semi I could write a book on the things I went through when I was losing the belief. But it doesn't matter what you say, you have the ones that will still say "oh you didn't truly believe, didn't try hard enough, didn't pray enough, someone got to you, someone made you mad, someone hurt you, you wanted to sin" and on and on. I know exactly where you are, and if I could help I would. All I can ever tell you is when you know, you'll know. I guess that doesn't make sense but it's the only way to describe it. After I admitted to myself and my husband I just did not believe it anymore, and he said he felt the same, we still went to church for years.

I felt dishonest sitting there not believing, living a lie, not loving or being in awe of their god. And I'd think things like how he was awful and cruel, and look at all these people that love him and can't see it, and I'd think too about all those poor little kids being scared by the stories. I remember as a kid how some of the stories scared and upset me. I had this little fear I might jump up one day and go "come on people, snap out of it. Are you really buying this"???  So I finally decided the best thing for me was to make the break, and like I've said too, my husband felt the same way, he just said he'd have done it sooner. It felt like being let out of prison.


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