quote:Originally posted by DixieChik:
I had a statistic on another thread that said something like 10 years ago, 1 of 8 fathers would leave and now it is like 1 of every 2 mothers will leave. Maybe it should no longer be "assumed" that the mother should have immediate custody, but many times I don't think the courts have the funding or resources to truly investigate who would make the better parent so they err on the side of caution and since the mother has the bond of giving birth and carrying the child for 9 months -- they give it to her until proven otherwise...
As a woman, I would take issue with the man taking the child I had carried for 9 months and bonded with etc -- and not giving me custody...especially if he just had an agenda and was trying to prove a point and further that agenda...Now if you can prove me unfit, by all means, go for it, but if you can't prove me an unfit parent -- that I don't provide for my child, that I don't take care of my child's health and mental well-being, that I don't keep my child clothed and fed, that I don't take time to spend with my child, that I don't educate my child and teach tehm to be a good person, that I don't be a mother and love and care for my child -- if you can prove that I neglect or abuse my child -- try it...but if you can't prove that I'm unfit -- if you can't prove that I'm not doing the best I can then you are barking up the wrong tree...Now, if I was a woman that was doing drugs, had a different man in my bed every night and that my child had nothing to eat but crackers and ketchup and had to get themselves up for school etc...then you might have a case, but otherwise, you have to share...you can't get anymore than I can and you certainly won't get the chance to get more....Does the mother in this case do any of those things or NOT do anything of those things? Is she an unfit mother? "you" say the father is not unfit -- how is "he" fit? What does "he" do different that would make him the better parent than the mother?
Again, I ask, why not apply for a new custody arrangement? Nothing is ever written in stone -- until you are dead...but trying to get the court's to change the ruling of the TN and then AL courts is less likely to happen...I think what's really sad is you can't see that I really want you to get what you deserve in the case -- I'd like you to have a wonderful relationship with your child...I just fear that by going the route you are -- you are going to not get what you so desperately want...Sorry I'm not the "atta boy" kind of cheerleader...but I do wish you the best...like I said -- I know several men that are the custodial parent in this area -- it can be done -- so maybe if you asked again and since you finally moved close enough -- the 50/50 could be a possibility...
That is sexist and discrimination against the father. Why should some woman just be able to rip someones child away because they want to fool around? I am happily married to my first wife but I have a friend who this happened to. His wife was fooling around and wanted a divorce. He actually asked her to just stay married and she could see who she wanted just so his kids would not be taken away. She would not and actually acts like the scorned woman when she was the one fooling around. My friend spent 65K just fighting to get joint custody. It should be as simple as this if the father is a fit parent then he gets joint custody. If he does not if he wants custody then no child support or alimony.