I've known that man since he was 13. I know his family. This man is like a brother to me. I've seen him in good times and bad. His life hasn't been all that great, but he lived it the best he could. He made mistakes and plenty of them. I have been around him and his wife the whole time they've had a relationship except when I was stationed in Korea from 2005 to 2008. Still kept in touch and talked to both over the phone often as I could. I've know her family since then too. I was there when his son was born.
I won't go into his family history for privacy's sake, but I can tell you that it wasn't what most would call a bed of roses. On top of that being diagnosed with a mild childhood disorder which took medication to control that the school system forced on him and his family to have him take or he couldn't go to school. Being extremely artistic, but pigeon holed because his art was an outlet for the nightmares he had every night. Having a strong personality and will to take up for himself when others judged him because of his situation. Having the police here know his name cause of his family history. All he wanted was not to be judged for who he was and the angst this judgement of others instilled so deeply it became a fundamental part of his psyche caused him to verbally lash out at authority figures when he felt judged won him no points. Not being religious because these people always judged him the harshest cause he liked to wear black and listen to metal and rap. The judgement also sent him over to the darker side of society as there people don't judge or ask questions. I met him around this time.
I met him and the rest of this particle circle of friends of mine through playing a card game on a regular basis when I was eighteen. I saw in them a potential that I didn't want to see wasted. I've always, even though I'm not perfect, felt that I should try my best to help other be better people and not judge them. It was a give and take. I tried to be a voice of reason when they would get bad ideas. The majority of the time it worked. Sometimes it didn't, but I was able to limit the damage and keep them out of trouble when I was around and I tried to be around or available all the time. I felt it was my duty as a Christian. Not to talk about God all the time, but set as good an example as I could, get them to open their minds to the fact that hippochristians were the ones making God look bad, and that even if they didn't believe it was still a good way to live and find success. This went on many years. It's what Jesus would have done only with more success then I. I did have some success though.
He has a strong code of honor he lives by that the average person might not understand, but is there. He is egotistical, loud, and full of **** and vinegar on the surface. He's like the Army's John Wayne toilet paper; rough, tough and don't take shhh !t off nobody. Once you get to know him though and he knows you accept him for who he is and won't screw him over he is the best friend. Always there if you call. Willing to help you if he can. Willing to defend you with his life and limb. He'd give you the shirt off his back and share the last bit of food he's got, but you have to earn his respect first by showing him some. That's not all that much to ask in my book.
Little by little this man began to change as time went by as humans do. He wasn't perfect and his family still had some bad times which set him back, but he always recovered. He found a trade with his art that could make an honest living. He wasn't as filled with angst and anger. When he met Tanya he truly met a match. Those two are like peas in a pod. Their family dynamic is loud, filled with egos, and certainly not conventional.They may have spats, but they love each other in their own way. I have never seen Tommy strike his wife or any woman for that matter. I've never heard of him striking any woman. I've never been told by any of the women he's dated that I'm friends with that he abused them. Even though I've seen him flash rage and be mad as hell, I've never once seen him pull a gun or knife with the intention of killing someone. Have I heard him say he'd kill someone if he had to to defend his family and himself? Yes, but I don't think even the Dali Lama wouldn't feel the same way. Now he does have a tongue that can cut like a knife, but I've never seen him use that without good reason either and he can take all he dishes out. is he perfect? No, but improving best he can.
Little by little this happened until the biggest change in this man came when his son was born. Unfortunately though his re****tion was already made. Plus he was still Tommy, just mellowed out to a degree. Stopped all the hard bull caca and focused on his family and trying to make the best life he could for his son and his son didn't go without. He had good clothes, alot of toys, a dad that was around, enough food, the best roof over his head his dad could provide, and a mother who could stay at home unless she wanted to go out and work. Was it perfect? No, and shortly after I got back from Korea the pressure of family life caused a break, and it was a mess as most situations like that are. Alot of stuff happened I also will not go into for privacies sake, but in the end he was exonerated. Came out of it with a faith in God which surprised me too. Forgave his wife and she him. They did the things they needed to do to get back on track. Where they perfect? No but much improved.
Unfortunately he and eventually his wife had to stay in town after that. Had to return to the same playground and interact with the same playmates. He distanced himself as much as he could, but he had to make a living which meant going back to tattoo work and staying in town so he could be around his son until he could get him back. Plus he had other commitments. Then there was the re****tion still there hanging over his head like always. All was well until last fall when a mysterious package showed up delivered by the UPS man. As I've gathered from sources no one knew it was coming. There are no phone taps I know of that prove anyone knew anyway, or witnesses, or wire taps, or sonic amplifier recordings. He signed for it after haggling with the guy that it wasn't for him and, even though addressed to his wife, she wasn't expecting one. The guy convinced him that he was in a hurry and wanted to get his route done so taking it would be doing him a favor. So he set it inside and went back to sleep waking up ten minutes later to the police raiding his apartment. Arrested him and his wife. Go to a get a drug test that comes back clean for everything with their own money, which is in short supply due to bail and legal fees, just to prove they weren't doing drugs.
Didn't read that in the paper though did ya? Just they found a box in his house with seven pounds in it. Funny how you can get screwed cause someone on the playground assumes they can take liberties with your life without asking huh? So he had guns, big whoop I know plenty of people with guns in their house and far more then three. Heck I know people that got dynamite on their property for certain legal purposes. Plus, he has never been convicted of domestic violence or any felony that I know of and I know him well. He was arrested for stalking when him and his wife had the break, but not convicted and as the state prosecutes those whether the spouse drops charges or not is telling. So he can have a weapon legally. They had domestic problems, but that doesn't mean he was beating her. Then again I guess we'll see as I got this info second hand from sources close to the event. All the evidence should be public record after the trial. So factor in they both have this hangin' over their heads now as you can read in the paper.
They make bail and go back to their life living best they can and still making good improvements. Unfortunately though because of my job and the fact I have to keep up appearances in certain respects I have to tell him that even though I've known him for nearly half my life I can't come around anymore until its over. I can't have the appearance of impropriety in the slightest. Its too important as I love my country and I need my military service to help feed my family. Neither of us liked it, but he understood. I'd drop by the shop once every two or three months to see how he and his family was. Jesus I've felt ****ty for that and feel even worse now. Maybe if I had of been around this wouldn't have happened. Took everything I had not to cry in front of my boy when I read it online as I hadn't even heard until the day before Tanya was hurt and didn't know how but that it involved surgery and bone shards.
Now I see how this appears. As I've said I know about appearances and what effect they can have. Appearances can be deceiving though. Just like the drug case no one will know the facts until the evidence comes out. I know that man though and it will surprise the heck out of me if its proven he's capable of that. If it is proven do not doubt I'll fully expect him to face the consequences as will his family. Remember though that the truth is the truth whether it passes through the lips of a saint or a sinner. Remember that in this country one is innocent until proven guilty just because of that fact. and last remember that re****tion tends to blind us to the change that can occur in a man especially when their this close to making that major change.
I work with Florence Police Officers. I know many and have the utmost respect for them. The one's I know are decent people. I'd jump in a foxhole and trust them with my life any day. They keep us all safe from the predators out there. They have a job to do and their doing it, but they aren't supermen. They aren't perfect and can fall to the bias of re****tion just like the rest of us can. I just pray the forensics were done right so that the truth can be seen without bias whatever it is. Like Adam said above I don't think he will get a fair trail here now that this article was published. If i get any flack for saying that I'll prove the bad writing and bias in it with the simple tools I learned in communications class in college as this post is already long. The Times Daily needs to fork out the dough for some better journalists who know how to state all the facts and check them the right way. It's also fishy the photojournalist was there when he was arrested. I would figure it wouldn't be on the scanner as they probably came straight from the station to get him.
As far as frightening and insulting intelligence I will say this. I saw no threats above that should frighten anyone. I saw harsh words but the only one I saw belittling intelligence was the comment about the grammar of a distraught family member. I saw people close to him, as I am, rightly ****ed off at people making comments about a man they do not know intimately and chiding those people for it. Those who don't know everything should reserve judgement until all the facts come out, and not base it on a short and not very well written news article. Facts don't come out until the trial and all of them aren't out until after the trail. Having experience in prior circumstances of reading a paper does not make anyone expert enough to pass judgement before the facts are out. It proves nothing more then those who do have a cynical, pessimistic, and arrogant attitude "hall of fame" or "post master" commenter or not. It is rather arrogant as well to sweetly advocate for that, while hollowly offering hopeful sympathy just to reprimand someone for defending a loved one and themselves in a discussion.
If you've made it this far I thank you for your patience and your time in reading it. I hope I have sufficiently maintained the privacy of all involved while giving enough information about the man so one can see him as a man, and while not a perfect one, not a monster either. I've had personal experience with monsters being in the military and he's not there yet. I know its long, but I felt it needed to be said.