I've been there as well during a very dark period of my life. It was the thought of hurting my Grandmother, only person at that time with whom I could associate no pain - always good to me, that kept me from leaving this world behind me. I was on my way when her face flashed in my mind.
I didn't climb out of that pit until about 10 years later, however, and that was only by surrendering to God & letting him heal the brokenness and helping me to forgive. Forgiveness was absolutely key in staying out.
Then I began to recognize the first signs of a downward spiral & when I saw them, I took the steps that worked for me...counting my blessings, changing my surroundings, prayer, reading my Bible, helping someone else, etc. Even though I love my life, it still happens. I don't know why and can't pinpoint what triggers it. I just run for my life when it happens and into God's arms. That's what works for me.
I so sympathize with anyone who goes through this. I wonder sometimes if we all do to some extent.
I think it's wonderful that you all cared enough to share and that you want to help. You alright.
