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From investigating school board parents to raiding Mar-a-Lago, the FBI is on a rampage! Who will they raid next? It could be you!

To help you protect yourself, The Babylon Bee has consulted law enforcement experts to learn the top 10 signs the FBI is about to kick your door down:

  1. A windowless van labeled "Fiber Board Installers" has been parked outside your house all week: And there's a satellite dish on the roof. Weird.
  2. The bush in your front yard is a foot closer to the house every time you look at it: You could've sworn it was by the road when you planted it. Are those eyes?!
  3. You were dumb enough to engage in drug and sex trafficking without being Biden's son: Classic rookie mistake!
  4. Your door dash delivery guy is showered and clean-shaven: He's clearly a Fed.
  5. Your wife keeps shooing pesky FBI agents rummaging through her closet: Too late! You're already being raided!
  6. You were the president and took the nuclear codes home with you: Hopefully, they'll be lenient since you made America great again.
  7. You attended a school board meeting in the last 12 weeks: You monster!
  8. You're alone in your house and you sneeze and a mysterious voice behind the wall says "bless you": At least they're polite.
  9. The kid delivering your newspaper is clearly an adult midget with a 5 o'clock shadow dressed as a kid: Oops — sorry, we meant "little person."
  10. You just clicked on this Babylon Bee article: Oh no! You're on the watchlist forever now!

Desperation met stupidity on the corner of bad luck and despair, and the democratic party was born.

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11. You do your job as a Border Patrol Officer.

Video of an incident on a Southern California beach shows Border Patrol agents in a physical confrontation with two suspected smugglers, and the FBI is investigating, the Washington Examiner reported.

The footage, posted on TikTok by user @yeseniam17, was shared on Instagram Monday by Rep. Mayra Flores, R-Texas.

"The video I posted yesterday is just a small example of what our brave men and women of CBP deal with on a daily basis," Flores said in a statement to the Examiner. "Left without any support by this administration and thanks to their open border policies, disrespect and misconduct toward our law enforcement officials have reached alarming levels."

The video begins with one Border Patrol agent pinning a shirtless man to the ground face down with his arms behind his back. The camera then pans to the right, where another man looks like he is taunting a second agent, occasionally lunging forward while the agent swings a baton in his direction.

Two other agents then came in for assistance, with one of them running up and tackling the man from behind, sending him to the ground. Throughout the video, a crowd can be heard yelling from behind a border fence in Tijuana, Mexico. U.S. Customs and Border Protection confirmed to the outlet that there is an investigation underway which the FBI is leading.

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