Adoption of Children from Rape

My husband and I never considered adoption as we have two children of our own and have more than enough to keep us busy. I do admire people who adopt, and I would hope that any one not capable of having children of their own would be willing to take in a precious life no matter how it began.
Nurture has more influence than nature in most cases and that would be a wonderful way to give a person a new start on a great life.

I have 1 child. & All my life, that's what I said I wanted, was 1 child.
Maybe I just have the "Only Child Syndrome"! But it works for me!
Kudos to all of you who do adopt & have large families. My hats off to you!

I guess I should answer the question. I have three children. I love all three. None are adopted. I had a vasectomy after the third as I did not want my wife going through the more complicated process of tying her tubes. I love my wife dearly. And I am not about to tell any woman they should or should not have an abortion. It is her choice.

Hi LMM,

There is so much truth in your statement; it is beautiful. Thank you for reminding us, "Nurture has more influence than nature in most cases and that would be a wonderful way to give a person a new start on a great life."

No, I have never adopted. Before I was a Christian, I was me-focused -- and, although I loved children, never gave much thought to such things. I married my wife at forty and she had two children whom I love very much. I became a Christian at fifty and put aside my me-focus of life. At fifty-seven, I was given, by God, the first of my five beautiful grandchildren. God has truly blessed me.

At the age of seventy-one; no, I have not adopted any children. But, I still love children just as much, maybe even more -- and find that a Bible study without children makes me sad. I am not an adults-only kind of person; I find great joy in young children. And, this is why it breaks my heart so much when I realize that, since 1973, America has been killing, on average, 1.4 MILLION babies each year via abortion. And, my heart breaks even more for that 1.4 MILLION who will die THIS year -- and God only knows how many more will die from abortion each year in the next four years.

Yes, LMM, children need nurturing; they need love, and they need LIFE.

And, just as happened with my grandchildren -- as they begin to grow, they need to know about Jesus Christ and how much He loves them also.

God bless, have a wonderful, blessed day,

Bill

quote:

Originally posted by AlabamaSon: And I am not about to tell any woman they should or should not have an abortion. It is her choice.

Hi Alabama,

Reading these Scripture verses; what would you say is Jesus' attitude toward children?

Matthew 19:14, "But Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven.'"

Mark 10:14, "But when Jesus saw it, He was greatly displeased and said to them, 'Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God.'"

Mark 9:37, "Whoever receives one of these little children in My name receives Me; and whoever receives Me, receives not Me but Him who sent Me."

And, what do you suppose His attitude would be about killing little babies -- especially as a form of birth control?

Might it be as we read in Luke 10:37, "And He said, 'He who showed mercy on him.' Then Jesus said to him, 'Go and do likewise.'"

No, Alabama, I do not believe that Jesus would want any Christian believer to be ambivalent about killing babies.

God bless, have a wonderful, blessed day,

Bill

So if I do not mandate to the woman that she cannot have an abortion then God condemns me to hell. I guess that means if I do not mandate to Deep Fat that he worship God then I am condemned to hell. That means I must support a theocracy. No can do. I respect your opinion but I cannot agree. It would mean we are responsible to force every being on Earth to bow down to our belief of God's mandates. Sorry, not in my belief system. I don't buy into theocracies.

No offense Deep Fat, if you read this post. I assumed you wouldn't mind me using you as an example. I know you know I respect your opinion.

I'm sorry, are you saying that if I do not adopt a child that I cannot be part of the solution?

I don't think that the extremely self absorbed society in which we live will ever make abortion illegal. However, that doesn't mean that you should remain silent if you feel it is wrong. I don't have to adopt a child in order to speak my mind on this subject.

More importantly, if speaking my mind keeps even one child from being killed, it's well worth the effort. Guess what that makes me, AlabamaSon? Right, part of the solution...for that child gets to live.

The survival instinct is extremely strong in humans. So if the fetus could speak, the chances that he or she would choose to die are non-existent. Remember that the SMALL percentage that MAY eventually commit suicide have not yet been dealt the hand that leads to suicide. At this point, they still would fight to live.

quote:

Originally posted by _Joy_:
I'm sorry, are you saying that if I do not adopt a child that I cannot be part of the solution?

Yes. Of course that is my opinion.

quote:

Guess what that makes me, AlabamaSon?

Hypocritical, in my opinion. You can adopt no matter your age. You can give money to someone who adopts. Anything else would be selfish to the poor woman who was raped and left with no choice.

REALLY? I should adopt a child that I am not financially capable or emotionally ready to raise just because you feel that's the only way to save a life? That's not the only way to save a life, by the way.

Again, the likelihood that a child in the womb would say "YES, please kill me" is non-existent. Hypocritical is knowing that and doing it anyway.

FYI, I have given money to people who adopt, but that is far from the only way to be part of the solution.

Here's a way to be part of the solution that anybody can do.

When you see a young person searching for affection and/or guidance, be there for them. If you don't, they will find the affection they thirst for in ways that could destroy them.

quote:

Originally posted by _Joy_:
REALLY? I should adopt a child that I am not financially capable or emotionally ready to raise just because you feel that's the only way to save a life?

And you think the poor woman who was raped and got pregnant is better off? You are saying you would FORCE her with the baby and risks associated with pregnancy.

I don't have the power to force anyone to do anything. I'm saying that I don't ignore the baby in the womb by focusing all my attention on the woman carrying the baby. I see them as equally deserving of life. The baby didn't ask to be conceived any more than the woman asked to be raped. They are both victims and neither deserve death.

Yes, I have adopted, and BTW, my child is my "own"!

I know that most people don't understand how offensive their words are, but just for clarity going forward, adopted children are their parents' "own." They are also "natural,"
"actual," and "real."

Should you NEED to make a distinction (and I cannot for the life of me figure out why you would), the appropriate terms are "biological children" and "adopted children."

quote:

Originally posted by beeb:
Yes, I have adopted, and BTW, my child is my "own"!

I know that most people don't understand how offensive their words are, but just for clarity going forward, adopted children are their parents' "own." They are also "natural,"
"actual," and "real."

Should you NEED to make a distinction (and I cannot for the life of me figure out why you would), the appropriate terms are "biological children" and "adopted children."

Congratulations!!!! I'm sure your child is beautiful and I know you are a wonderful parent. And, yes, that is your child. I apologize if our debate has offended you.

quote:

Originally posted by beeb:
Yes, I have adopted, and BTW, my child is my "own"!

I know that most people don't understand how offensive their words are, but just for clarity going forward, adopted children are their parents' "own." They are also "natural,"
"actual," and "real."

Should you NEED to make a distinction (and I cannot for the life of me figure out why you would), the appropriate terms are "biological children" and "adopted children."

Congrats for you. You are blessed so much. I hope your children have a wonderful and happy life and that you grow old gracefully for a loooong time.
You have my admiration.

I also have adopted and I agree that she is totally my "own". Since her adoption I have realized how insensitive people can be and how they do not think about what they say. People ask way too many questions that aren't any of their business. I have had people ask "Why did you adopt? Is it because you can't have your own children?" For one, it is none of your business WHY I adopted and for two, she is my "own" child. It is very offensive for people to think she is less than mine. It is also offensive for people to think my fertility issues are open for discussion. My family is not defined by her adoption but alot of people try to make it seem that way. I also agree that you do not have to adopt or give money to someone who has adopted to be part of the solution.

MarriedSoon,

Congrats, and my sincere admiration goes out to you.

A parent by choice, rather by chance, is to me much admired. A kid who needed a parent now has one. Soon, two.

Best of everything,

DF

I have actually been married for some time but have had this user name since before I was married. My husband and I adopted together after we were married. I was in the delivery room when my daughter was born so she has had two loving parents from day one. Adoption is a beautiful thing that has blessed my life tremendously but I do realize that it isn't for everyone. I am prolife regardless of the circumstances in which the child was concieved. I feel that everyone has the right to live and their life isn't any less important because they were a product of rape.

to be sure, the child is an innocent party in such an unfortunate case.

DF

A couple in my neighborhood adopted a little girl about a year and a half ago. This past Summer I would see the little girl outside with Dad 'helping' him wash the car or squatting down by Mom digging in the flower garden. We can't help but get choked up when we see them - what a miracle it is that they found each other and are a happy little family.

quote:

I don't have to adopt a child in order to speak my mind on this subject.

But it certainly bolsters your argument.

For the record, yes, I have an adopted child.

I disagree. If your argument required that, it wouldn't be much of an argument.

quote:

For the record, yes, I have an adopted child.

Congrats Skep. I'm sure you are a great dad and will raise a fine young man or woman. Do at least let them read the Bible and make up their own mind.
Good karma for you!

quote:

Originally posted by Skeptik:

quote:

I don't have to adopt a child in order to speak my mind on this subject.

But it certainly bolsters your argument.

For the record, yes, I have an adopted child.

Hi Skeptik,

One does not have to be gay to know that the gay lifestyle is Biblically wrong.

One does not have to have adopted a child to know that saving a young life is absolutely right.

I say praise God for everyone who has made an adopted child an integral part of their family. And, I say praise God for every child that is saved from dying via abortion -- or any other unnatural death.

Children are our most important and precious legacy. We should do right by them -- all of them.

God bless, have a wonderful, blessed day,

Bill

quote:

One does not have to have adopted a child to know that saving a young life is absolutely right.

Of course not. But doing so definitely puts actions behind words.

And careful about the "absolutely" word my brother-in-Choice Bill. You have already admitted that you support abortion under certain conditions.

quote:

Do at least let them read the Bible and make up their own mind.

Thank you, LMM.

I have and they have.

quote:

I disagree. If your argument required that, it wouldn't be much of an argument.

Joy,

Whoah, did I say adoption was required?

<scroll, scroll, lookie, lookie>

Nope.

I was just saying that "I have adopted" before someone puts their foot in their mouth and accuses me of being a hypocrite.

quote:

Children are our most important and precious legacy. We should do right by them -- all of them.

So what have you done to "do right" by all of them, brother Bill? You refuse to adopt so will you lead us by example and detail exactly what you have done* for these poor unaborted babies during the past year?

(*other than sit behind a keyboard and issue condemnations)

Okay. If your argument needs bolstering, it's not much of an argument. Better?

We do not have children, We are childless (not by choice). I am infertile and will never biologically mother a child. We have considered adoption, but financially we cannot afford it. It would be a great thing if our government would ease up on the financial aspect of adopting a child in the US. I think then maybe, just maybe more people would be able to adopt the children who want parents to call their own.

I also do not believe in abortion. Partly because of my infertility issues. How can someone throw a child away when it is wanted by so many who can't have them? Of course, I realize that adoption isn't for everyone - why haven't we adopted yet? We simply cannot afford it. Adoption costs are as much as doing IVF treatments, we couldn't afford IVF either (despite the fact that it would not have worked).

I say our government needs to regulate the costs of adoption, so more domestic families can afford to give these children homes. But then again, our government has bigger problems at the moment - our economy.

I agree, TNFAN96. I've never understood why it costs a small fortune to give an orphan loving parents. It is a win win situation.

TNfan,

'splain something to me. Are you saying you have to pay to adopt a kid?

I know nothing about the issue, but I would think that orphanages would willingly give a kid to a qualified family.

thanks.

DF

I was waiting for TNFAN to answer, but I have a friend who wants to adopt and she had told me it would cost $20,000. Yeah, you heard me right. Here's an article on it.

The results of the Adoptive Families Adoption Cost Survey From the 2008 Adoption Guide

Also found this..."Adopting from the U.S. foster care system is generally the least expensive type of adoption." - from ---> Link

This was my next question & I imagine I am not alone.

International vs. Domestic Adoption - From Link ...

"I have experienced both sides of the international vs. domestic adoption and will tell you that international adoption is MUCH easier than domestic, which seems very weird to me."

However, according to the following article, there are some misconceptions (I have heard the legal concerns) about domestic adoption that lead people to choose international.

Link

quote:

Originally posted by _Joy_:
I don't have the power to force anyone to do anything. I'm saying that I don't ignore the baby in the womb by focusing all my attention on the woman carrying the baby. I see them as equally deserving of life. The baby didn't ask to be conceived any more than the woman asked to be raped. They are both victims and neither deserve death.

Thank you for summing up my own feelings on this issue so eloquently and succintly.

Too much of the focus is on the risk or inconvenience to the mother.

Ignoring the other victim in the situation is easy when you can rationalize to yourself that said victim "isn't human yet".

quote:

Originally posted by DeepFat:
TNfan,

'splain something to me. Are you saying you have to pay to adopt a kid?

I know nothing about the issue, but I would think that orphanages would willingly give a kid to a qualified family.

thanks.

DF

Discussing adoption in general, yes, they have to be approved by DHR, unless it's some kind of family adoption. Legal fees are tremendous. I don't think this is true in all countries.

When I was waiting for my nursing license, a gentleman from Ireland that I had met on eBay commented that his country paid all fees for new nurses, as badly as they are needed. I never checked to see if that was true or not, but it doesn't surprise me.

We should strive to make adopiton more afordable in this country and state. I see it as going the other way.