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WASHINGTON, D.C.—Democrats in Congress have condemned the recent election integrity law passed in Texas. In addition to the laws being extremely racist, misogynistic, and homophobic, Democrat politicians are saying that such laws will lead to a devastating decline in cheating. "Cheating is the lifeblood of LGBTQ+ culture, and ballot harvesting is the cornerstone of black American culture," said AOC in a speech to her constituents in the World Economic Forum. "In addition—like, so many women will be negatively impacted by the male gaze of partisan poll-watchers. This is literal fascism guys."
Experts warn that if more states pass similar laws, it may empower far-far-right candidates to win elections, as cheating and fraud will decline sharply.
"This is a white supremacist country," AOC continued, "so we know that free and fair elections without any fraud will lead to more white supremacists being elected. White supremacists like Larry Elder. Like, I literally can't even."
"Say—I should tweet that." She then pulled out her phone and began tweeting.
Leftists have called for more relaxed voting with fewer protections against fraud, so that only good people will be elected, like in California and New York. Frustrated Democrats have promised to leave Texas to live in states where the voting laws aren't evil and racist. Texas Governor Greg Abbot is currently looking at additional legislation to see if he can make more Democrats leave.
Nancy Pelosi Flies To Afghanistan To Lecture Stranded Americans On How Bad January 6 Was
KABUL—After the Taliban announced that Afghans would have to turn in their guns, the White House has sent Beto O'Rourke to Kabul to help out. Biden quickly praised the proposal and offered to send the gun confiscation expert and failed congressional candidate to go help take everybody's guns.
"[Flowerbed] yes we're coming for your guns," O'Rourke said as he happily went door to door to take firearms from soon-to-be helpless Afghan civilians. "This will greatly reduce gun violence, as Afghans won't be able to fight back at all and will simply have to submit to the Taliban's rule."
"Unlike America, the Taliban is very progressive when it comes to gun legislation. This is just a common-sense measure," O'Rourke said as he wrestled an AK-47 out of the hands of an Afghan woman before the Taliban whisked her away.
Unfortunately, O'Rourke was caught in his furry costume and is now imprisoned on death row. Biden says we will have to either drop off some pallets of cash to get him back or start a second Afghan war.
let me save everyone some trouble:
blah blah blah the gop
yada yada yada the dems
something something what's their face said
wash rinse repeat
this forum is pitiful now.