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You can't imagine how I felt when I was looking in my bf's sock drawer for some spare change to give the pool boy for...uh, takeout when I found the size 58 thong. It was even worse when I found Clint's name hastily written with a laundry marker. Then it got even worse--the thong had teeth marks in it--and we don't have a dog or cat.

And to think I believed him when he cried out for Clint in the middle of the night and later told me he was having a dream about Clint Walker being ambushed by a band of Indians. I've considered every angle, but the only one I can rule out is Clint Howard, Opie's brother. My bf does have standards.
quote:
Originally posted by Elb the Bum:
you guys have been so nice giving advice to all these people. i feel i need to come clean.
clint is the name i give to women so they can't find me later. i'd like to say i'm sorry, but i've really had too much fun!


ha ha ha Oh, it's all fun now, but just wait till you hear back from the doctor. hahaha Big Grin
quote:
Originally posted by Elb the Bum:
you guys have been so nice giving advice to all these people. i feel i need to come clean.
clint is the name i give to women so they can't find me later. i'd like to say i'm sorry, but i've really had too much fun!


Don't feel bad. I used to give guys the wrong phone number. Especially after I got married.
hahahahah
Dear Mr. Elb,

My daddy blue has told me that every time you come over and visit my step mother I will get another present or we will do something together.

We have done a lot of things together in the last few days. He's taught me to "roll one", "pop a top" and he's introduced me to his friend Slim. (He's REALLLY smart) But the fun part was meeting Slim's dog "spot". Of course, I have to watch daddy and spot they get into trouble together. We are doing things together that he and his dad never did.

You see, my grandfather never really liked my real mother. He kept telling my daddy "She's all boobs son" and that really upset my daddy. But she's not a boob. She'e really very smart.

For instance, when there is a mouse in her bedroom she knows that all she has to do is call daddy and he will come over and take care of it for her.

You see, I can't ever find the mouse. But daddy can. He's smart too. I know this because when he comes over and he and mommy go into her bedroom the mouse will start squeaking. Some nights it seems as if there are a million of them in there and daddy must have a difficult time catching them because the squeaking goes on for hours.

So please Mr. Elb don't ever stop visiting my step mother.

Thank You!

P. S. Tomorrow we are going to someplace called "hooters". I think it's an owl sanctuary. I really like owls!
Dear Mr. Onepatriot7,

I'm sorry to tell you that we are not going to see the owls. Daddy has grounded me for "airing dirty laundry".

I really don't understand. Mommy does all of our laundry. Even if I did help her with the laundry I'm sure I could tell the difference between clean laundry and dirty laundry.

Hopefully daddy will explain it to me tomorrow when Mr. Elb/Clint comes visit my step-mother again.

Bye for now Mr. Onepatriot7.

P. S. I really like barn owls. What kind of owls do you like?
Oh Goodie Goodie, did your hear that Mr. Onepatriot7?

Daddy, what about granddaddy is he coming too? I know he got that new dictionary the other day and told you not to bother him, but don't you think he would enjoy seeing the owls also.

What about Slim? Can he come too? He's been working so hard raising money for those poor orphans in Minnesota. I'm sure he needs to get away and see the owls. But don't let him bring spot. I don't want him to get you in trouble again.
Dear Mr. Willie,

Earlier today Mr. Elb had a flat on his big truck after he drove over my daddy's ranger and destroyed my amp.

Daddy has gone to help him fix the flat. He said something about "not killing the goose that laid the golden egg". I don't really know what that means. I'm a little slow you know.

But I will tell Mr. Elb you were asking about him. He comes by to see my step mother just about every day.

Do you know Ms. Western? Mommy says she can help me with my acne problem, but I can't seem to be able to convince her to help me.

Okie Dokey gotta go now.

BYE
Dear Mr. Elb,

Daddy told me you were at Auntie's house and he was going to fix your flat while you were inside getting the mouse out of her bedroom.

He said again that he didn't want to kill the goose who laid the golden egg. I still do not know what that means. I'm a little slow you know. But he said you took care of the goose for us.

Daddy says I am not good enough for Mr. Willie's stuff. Mr. Willie is a really nice man. He's been asking about you today. I think he's worried about you overworking yourself.

Do take care Mr. Elb. We don't want you to get tired and have an accident and kill the goose.

Okie Dokie gotta go
BYE!!!!!

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