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WASHINGTON, D.C. — Representative Ilhan Omar has called for a National Day of Mourning in light of the news that four Israeli hostages were rescued this morning.

"I am deeply grieved by the tragic rescue of four of our hostages this morning," said Omar, fighting back tears. "They were taken from us far too soon, after only 245 days in captivity. I am hereby calling for a National Day of Mourning over their safe return to Israel."

According to sources, Omar broke out into sobs upon learning the devastating news of the hostages' rescue. "If only Israel had listened to Biden, none of this would have happened," said Omar. "It pains me to see their smiling faces as they reunite with friends and family. The only silver lining is that none of the American hostages were rescued, praise Allah."

As a sign of mourning, Omar will fly the Palestinian flag outside of her office at half-staff. Aides report that Omar will meet up with fellow representatives Rashida Tlaib, Cori Bush, and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez to support each other during this difficult time. The group plans to go down to the Holocaust Museum for a little pick-me-up, and then go out for ice cream.

At publishing time, Omar had been seen weeping outside Senator Fetterman's door as his team celebrated taking down the posters of the four rescued hostages.

Babylon Bee

Desperation met stupidity on the corner of bad luck and despair, and the democratic party was born.

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