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Do you all remember how long everybody posted, wondered, assumed, and made guesses as to what happened during the Trey Wells trial? It went on for weeks, page after page after page. Every one of us had opinions. He was guilty, he was innocent. He should be hung, the parents were to blame.

Now that a murder was committed in a prominent (or at least well known) family suddenly the thread should be closed before somebody's "feelings get hurt". Where was this sentiment when the boy was being raked over the coals?

I'm not saying the thread should be kept open. It was all pretty much speculation at best on either side, but everything on here is pretty much speculation.

Now the drug rehab woman's family is protesting that people are making quick judgments of her; the ballplayer's cheering squad is crying "foul" over the discussion of his rape innocence or guilt; on and on.

What I am saying is this: If you're going to make value judgments concerning one family's tragedy then don't cry when people are making value judgments about the family that you know.
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quote:
Originally posted by vick13:
Do you all remember how long everybody posted, wondered, assumed, and made guesses as to what happened during the Trey Wells trial? It went on for weeks, page after page after page. Every one of us had opinions. He was guilty, he was innocent. He should be hung, the parents were to blame.
Where was this sentiment when the boy was being raked over the coals?


Very good point, Vick.
But once the legal part started...the topic just died off...Tre was just a child..yes..but he wasn't a public figure like the other person was....and mostly...the parents were attacked more than the boy himself...I dont remember much about the post..but...you are right..he was given a hard time about his crime...and he is going to be punished..more than he already has...but keep in mind...Although...there were over 10,000 readers on the Sonny and Deb topic...only Debs family slammed Sonny...no Stranger spoke up and said anything...that I can remember....negative about him...Hard to compair this to the wells case...Where a Child of 16 or 17 did this crime....Were talking about a Grown woman close to what....50?....
Also, as much as I love you guys, some of the same people who were so concerned about these last two were right in the middle of all the speculation about the boy. Now, when it's someone they know personally speculation is too cruel for the family.

I just don't believe in double standards. If my husband shoots me, ya'll rip him a new one.
And I am one of the one's you are talking about. I am just an opinionated about things.

The reason I asked AM to close the post was because I TALKED to the family and they asked if it could be closed and they would make one.

I didn't think it was unreasonable, and like Roofer said, it was just getting out of hand.

I don't have double standards, I am what I am, and that is all I know what to be.
Yep, you are. So was I. But everybody who commits a crime or shows up in the paper either here or nationally has a family. And every family thinks their accused person is not guilty (case in point that brenda woman). Of course they're going to be upset. It's upsetting.

But you can't stop people from having opinions or posting them because it's upsetting to people you know personally if you're going to keep posting opinions about people you don't know personally. It's not fair.
Personally myself...I remember posting on the Well's thread...I do remember saying...I put the Roof on the home...and that the famlies that have lived there...somehing has happend to the last three...I believe...and a car wreck in front of the drive way...that killed three...but...I dont remember me passing judgement on this family....I did not know the Well's....So I dont think I would have said anything Positive or negative on the thread other than I wouldnt want to live in that house...Generally I try to know what I am talking about and can explain my post if asked...My children knew Tre'....from school of course...but...that's about all ....we never had any dealings with them....but if I did say something about the family or the boy...I was out of line...but...I dont think I did....
quote:
Originally posted by vick13:
Yep, you are. So was I. But everybody who commits a crime or shows up in the paper either here or nationally has a family. And every family thinks their accused person is not guilty (case in point that brenda woman). Of course they're going to be upset. It's upsetting.

But you can't stop people from having opinions or posting them because it's upsetting to people you know personally if you're going to keep posting opinions about people you don't know personally. It's not fair.

I agree with you completely. Kinda like, don't dish it out, if you can't take it. You are so smart Vick, that is why we chose you over Dear Abby!
quote:
Originally posted by vick13:
Yep, you are. So was I. But everybody who commits a crime or shows up in the paper either here or nationally has a family. And every family thinks their accused person is not guilty (case in point that brenda woman). Of course they're going to be upset. It's upsetting.

But you can't stop people from having opinions or posting them because it's upsetting to people you know personally if you're going to keep posting opinions about people you don't know personally. It's not fair.



It's not stopping people from reading what the opinions were on that post, it is still readable.

The REASON I asked for it to be closed is that I had made the post when I first heard about it. Two different family members ask that that one be closed so they could write another one.

There is one written by the family, it sort of opens the door for a discussion, and it was posted by Deb's daughter. I don't see anything wrong with closing one to the other, it can keep on, as do the words on the other post.

But I do agree, when it is in the Paper, and it is public knowledge, anyone can have whatever opinion that they want or even need to have. And we still can do that on Heather's post.

The one I wrote had gotten down to the only one's who even said anything on it was a couple members of her family and Roofer and myself. So I didn't see a problem with closing it. It appeared as though everyone had already had their opinions said.
quote:
Originally posted by vick13:
Yep, you are. So was I. But everybody who commits a crime or shows up in the paper either here or nationally has a family. And every family thinks their accused person is not guilty (case in point that brenda woman). Of course they're going to be upset. It's upsetting.

But you can't stop people from having opinions or posting them because it's upsetting to people you know personally if you're going to keep posting opinions about people you don't know personally. It's not fair.



You are right, Vick. It IS different when you KNOW someone and you care about them. How could it NOT be different???

I don't think anyone who has a human heart can have really objective opinions when they know the people involved as much as if they do NOT know the people involved.

That is just being human, nothing else though. It may not be fair, but what is fair when one's heart is involved?? It gets to be a sticky situation then.

I posted a lot of negative stuff on the Mary Winkler Post. I posted a lot of negative stuff on the Tre' Wells post, yep, guilty as charged. But my heart and friendship wasn't directly involved with those 2 people so it was easy to spit out a few negatives at one time or another.

If you go look the post I made I even said that I had posted negative things about other people on here and it was coming back to slep me in the face. THAT was a comment I left on the Sonny and Deb Post that I made.

But yes, you are right, if one's heart is involved, one DOES indeed feel differently about things, no doubt about it.
I think if we were all completely honest- We've all said something at one time or another that has hurt someone elses' feelings.

Not including the posts where murders were involved- but in every day posts. Even towards other members' themselves. And to an extent, we do get to know other members, and yet we all fail at times to be the nicest.

It's human nature, to defend someone that you know personally. When it is someone that you know well, it's also human nature to have an emotional reaction towards others' talking about them- Whether or not offense is meant.

If it was one of your family members, I'd expect no less than for you to get on a post where they are talking about them, and have an emotional response.

So, to answer this, yes it is different. It doesn't make it unfair, or dishonest. It just makes it different because there is an emotional attachment there.

It might not exactly make sense, but life isn't about always making sense. Or having a perfect reaction to things that annoy or upset. It's about growing, learning, and trying to learn how to handle difficult things that it throws at you.


Whether it was fair or not for the one post to be closed, makes no matter. There were only a few people still posting on it (although-there were many of us lurking it), and the family wanted to make their own thread about it. The topic is still there, it wasn't deleted. I found it very respectful for my mom to bow out of it, and allow it to be closed so that the family could make their own thread.

Is it fair? I don't know, but I'm sure many of us can understand why it was done.

As for the Tre Wells thing, I don't think I posted on that thread. I'm not sure I even read it, but I would think nothing less if someone else decided to close their thread for the same purposes. It doesn't mean that discussion cannot take place on it, anymore. Smiler

Anyways, that's my long rambling two cents. I hope it make sense. Smiler

~Amanda
Of course it is different if you know them! I can call my kid a selfish and lazy brat ~ but I am the only one allowed to do that!!!

And we have all said hurtful and / or hateful things at one time or another that we regret. I know I have, and I've tried to apologize to anyone I've hurt. I think that one of the bad things about a forum is that when you post your opinion, there is no way to filter who reads it. It is one thing to say to your buddy "gosh, that is the ugliest woman I have ever seen" but it is another thing if that woman is his mama!
quote:
Originally posted by *~*Manda*~*:
I think if we were all completely honest- We've all said something at one time or another that has hurt someone elses' feelings.

Not including the posts where murders were involved- but in every day posts. Even towards other members' themselves. And to an extent, we do get to know other members, and yet we all fail at times to be the nicest.

It's human nature, to defend someone that you know personally. When it is someone that you know well, it's also human nature to have an emotional reaction towards others' talking about them- Whether or not offense is meant.

If it was one of your family members, I'd expect no less than for you to get on a post where they are talking about them, and have an emotional response.

So, to answer this, yes it is different. It doesn't make it unfair, or dishonest. It just makes it different because there is an emotional attachment there.



~Amanda



Very well said Amanda! I apologize if I said anything offensive! I was not my intention to hurt anyone's feelings, especially Taciturns. I just felt we were all being picked apart, line by line, and as Amanda said, those right in the middle of the frey ARE allowed to have a bad day. Our feelings are very raw and watching our loved ones being bashed in public is not easy, so it's hard not to reply in anger sometimes. Again, I apologize.
quote:
Originally posted by Kindred:
CC, I am confused also. I did what the family asked, and then nobody liked it. But they weren't replying to it either.

The family put up a sonny and debbie post so that people can come on there and say what they want.

I guess I could ask AM to restore that post. I didn't realize it offended so many.


I dont think you should ask them to restore it hon.. if I remember right, one of the family members ask that it be removed as well. you did the right thing.. ((((hugs))))
I am thinking that if the Wells family had come on here and asked that the thread be removed, they would have been told that this was a public forum and that this was public imformation. That the opinions were those of the people, based on what was posted in the paper as well as by forum members. I am thinking that they would have had to deal with it or not read it. I have actually seen that posted to readers. What makes this different? I do not understand. Looks like a double standard to me.
quote:
Posted 24 December 2007 09:07 PM Hide Post
I am thinking that if the Wells family had come on here and asked that the thread be removed, they would have been told that this was a public forum and that this was public imformation. That the opinions were those of the people, based on what was posted in the paper as well as by forum members. I am thinking that they would have had to deal with it or not read it. I have actually seen that posted to readers. What makes this different? I do not understand. Looks like a double standard to me.



In fact, I believe members of the Wells family did, indeed, come onto the forum. They were thoroughly trounced.

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