NEW YORK, NY — After a career spent being constantly outclassed in the intelligence department, Vice President Kamala Harris enjoyed finally being the smartest person in the room during her appearance on ABC's The View.
The Vice President noticeably relished her newfound status as the resident genius as she dispensed valuable nuggets of wisdom to The View's awed panel of cohosts, basking in unfamiliar territory as the one everyone was looking to for knowledge and insight. "My, my, my how the turntables have… done what they have done," Harris said as she presided over a room full of her intellectual inferiors for the first time. "As bearers of knowledge, we must know and bear the type of knowledge that carries around the world to other carriers and bearers of knowledge. It is only at that time that we will know our knowledge. Knowledge is knowing things."
The hosts of The View were amazed as they sat around the Vice President and listened to her brilliant rhetoric. "We heard she was a smart cookie, but now we've experienced it firsthand," said longtime host Joy Behar. "She ran mental circles around us. This woman exhibits true leadership in every aspect, from declaring the southern border secure to admitting she's ‘scared as heck' of Donald Trump winning the election, her wisdom is what we all look to. Our panel can't hope to compete with that."
At publishing time, the hosts of The View were reportedly still trying to make sense of the Vice President's comments, knowing she was just far too intelligent for them to comprehend.