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The small native American tribe, the Fugarwe, are in shock today as Chief Ten Beers apparently suffers nervous breakdown. His squaw, Little Toe, said he had been upset lately over the tension in the nearby city of Cherokee. She states that for the past few days he mumbled things under his breath like Rodknocker, golf cart, chicken liver, and cobra. "Me not know what it mean." she said.

Mrs. Toe states that this morning he was at his computer and suddenly jumped up screaming. He grabbed his spear and attacked the computer destroying it. He then ran into the field where he began to slaughter all the tribes sheep.

Two braves, Steps in it and Sniffumpoot, attempted to reason with him to no avail. "Him say sheep defiled..unclean. Must kill all."Sniffumpoot says.

Authorities are puzzled by one of the sheep carcasses which appears to be a wolf skin inside a sheep skin. Samples have been sent to the state forensic lab for dna testing. The female sheep did appear to have been 'violated'.

Ten Beers was last seen running, spear in hand,screaming "Me burn Memphis pitstop to ground" toward the town of Cherokee. Citizens are advised to be on the look out for this individual. He is apparently armed and may be dangerous. More on this story as it unfolds.
Do unto others....before they do unto you
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We have confirmed reports that the body of Chief Ten Beers has been found dead of an apparent suicide. Authorities report his body was discovered in a heavily manured field just outside the town of Cherokee. An unnamed source says all that was visible were his feet sticking out of the fertilizer. The body was in close proximity to three elderly white gentlmen who were buried neck deep in the manure. When the authorities arrived on the scene, two of the men were hurling insults at the corpse and the other was attempting to give it spelling and grammar lessons.

All three of the buried men refused rescue and stated they were quite happy where they were. Deputies say this one of the strangest cases they have ever been involved in.
Last edited by leo
In a shocking new development in the ongoing story of the Fugarwe Chief Ten Beers suicide, tribal spokesman, Sniffumpoot, says the tribe has decided to leave their ancestral land and move their village to the town of Waterloo.

When asked what prompted this decision Sniffumpoot replied. "No can sleep in this village. Neighbors scream and yell all night. All day. Stench from town unbearable. Sheep no safe. We move. We cross Great Waters of Singing River and make new village there in land called Waterloo."
According to authorities the three men who were found neckdeep in manure at the scene of the Ten Beers tragedy have been positively identified as members of a local internet forum. The three were identified by their forum names as WH, Rammlimn,and Beternu.

Police attempted to interview the trio with mixed results. During the interview Wh's only response was to hurl obscenities at law enforcement personel while Rammlimn spewed insults at everyone. Beternu, on the other hand was quite forthcomming. In a diatribe that went on for hours Beternu states that the Chief was curious as to the sounds of bickering at their location. As he approached the trio, he threw up his hands in disgust and dove head first into the manure pile. It appears, from tracks, that he then clawsd his way to the bottom and never attempted to extricate himself.

When officers left the scene Beter was still explaining and the others continued their verbal assault.
quote:
According to authorities the three men who were found neckdeep in manure at the scene of the Ten Beers tragedy have been positively identified as members of a local internet forum. The three were identified by their forum names as WH, Rammlimn,and Beternu.

Police attempted to interview the trio with mixed results. During the interview Wh's only response was to hurl obscenities at law enforcement personel while Rammlimn spewed insults at everyone. Beternu, on the other hand was quite forthcomming. In a diatribe that went on for hours Beternu states that the Chief was curious as to the sounds of bickering at their location. As he approached the trio, he threw up his hands in disgust and dove head first into the manure pile. It appears, from tracks, that he then clawsd his way to the bottom and never attempted to extricate himself.

When officers left the scene Beter was still explaining and the others continued their verbal assault.


Public Service Announcement:

NO CHICKENS WERE MOLESTED,EVICTED, TAMPERED WITH, OR OTHERWISE HARMED IN THE COURSE OF THIS INVESTIGATION!! Wink
quote:
Originally posted by CageTheElephant:
quote:
According to authorities the three men who were found neckdeep in manure at the scene of the Ten Beers tragedy have been positively identified as members of a local internet forum. The three were identified by their forum names as WH, Rammlimn,and Beternu.

Police attempted to interview the trio with mixed results. During the interview Wh's only response was to hurl obscenities at law enforcement personel while Rammlimn spewed insults at everyone. Beternu, on the other hand was quite forthcomming. In a diatribe that went on for hours Beternu states that the Chief was curious as to the sounds of bickering at their location. As he approached the trio, he threw up his hands in disgust and dove head first into the manure pile. It appears, from tracks, that he then clawsd his way to the bottom and never attempted to extricate himself.

When officers left the scene Beter was still explaining and the others continued their verbal assault.


Public Service Announcement:

NO CHICKENS WERE MOLESTED,EVICTED, TAMPERED WITH, OR OTHERWISE HARMED IN THE COURSE OF THIS INVESTIGATION!! Wink


I'm not so sure about that. My pet chicken, Mr. Bojangles, mysteriously came up missing this afternoon. I hope no one choked him.
quote:
Sez Butterfly:
I'm not so sure about that. My pet chicken, Mr. Bojangles, mysteriously came up missing this afternoon. I hope no one choked him.


Fear not!...Butterbabe! He's out dancin'...

"I knew a bird Bojangles and he'd dance for you
In worn out shoes
With silver hair, a ragged shirt, and baggy pants
The old soft shoe
He jumped so high, crowed so loud...
Then he lightly touched down

I met him in a cell in Cherokee... I was
down and out
He looked to me to be the eyes of age
as he spoke right out
He talked of life, talked of life, he laughed
clicked his heels and stepped

He said his name "Bojangles" and he danced a lick
across the cell
He grabbed his pants and spread his stance,
Oh he jumped so high and then he clicked his heels
He let go a laugh, let go a laugh
and shook back his feathers all around

Mr. Bojangles, Mr. Bojangles
Mr. Bojangles, dance

He danced for those at minstrel shows and county fairs
throughout the south
He spoke through tears of 15 years how his dog and him
traveled about
The dog up and died, he up and died
And after 20 years he still grieves

He said I dance now at every chance in honky tonks
for drinks and tips
But most the time I spend behind these county bars
'cause I drinks a bit
He shook his head, and as he shook his head
I heard someone ask him please

Mr. Bojangles, Mr. Bojangles
Mr. Bojangles, dance.."
Stand by for a COBRA Interprises Boardcast::::::::::::

I have not seen any mysterious chickens being chocked but I did see someone spanking their bad monkey that was dressed in sheep’s clothing but he smells like wolf. he speak with fork tongue, look like Chief Onewhohanglow.

ZObot my seprime leader beam me to my roooftop so I can tell all about this monkey spanking, oh chief Bigsausage, man talk bout chicken choke and spank some monkey, these peoples be crazy::::::::::::
Last edited by colbertcounty1
Local police are concerned about the recent outbreak of strange behavior in and around the town of Cherokee. People have reported numerous sightings of odd behavior including one individual who had dressed up a monkey in a sheep suit and was beating it on his rooftop. Several people have reported their chickens missing and fear they may have been choked. This in addition to the rash of sheep violations have authorities in search of answers. An unidentified source reports that the city jail was attacked by a dancing chicken dressed like a hobo.

Police have also been trying to locate an individual known as Cobra who has been uncharacteristicly absent for over eight hours. "He seems to be involved in all this," says sherrifs office spokesman,"but we aren't accusing him of any wrong doing. We just want to question him."

Police are unclear if these events are related to the suicide of a Local Native American Chief.
quote:
Originally posted by CageTheElephant:
quote:
Sez Butterfly:
I'm not so sure about that. My pet chicken, Mr. Bojangles, mysteriously came up missing this afternoon. I hope no one choked him.


Fear not!...Butterbabe! He's out dancin'...

"I knew a bird Bojangles and he'd dance for you
In worn out shoes
With silver hair, a ragged shirt, and baggy pants
The old soft shoe
He jumped so high, crowed so loud...
Then he lightly touched down

I met him in a cell in Cherokee... I was
down and out
He looked to me to be the eyes of age
as he spoke right out
He talked of life, talked of life, he laughed
clicked his heels and stepped

He said his name "Bojangles" and he danced a lick
across the cell
He grabbed his pants and spread his stance,
Oh he jumped so high and then he clicked his heels
He let go a laugh, let go a laugh
and shook back his feathers all around

Mr. Bojangles, Mr. Bojangles
Mr. Bojangles, dance

He danced for those at minstrel shows and county fairs
throughout the south
He spoke through tears of 15 years how his dog and him
traveled about
The dog up and died, he up and died
And after 20 years he still grieves

He said I dance now at every chance in honky tonks
for drinks and tips
But most the time I spend behind these county bars
'cause I drinks a bit
He shook his head, and as he shook his head
I heard someone ask him please

Mr. Bojangles, Mr. Bojangles
Mr. Bojangles, dance.."


LOL! Does this mean he's safe at the discotheque?
Another Native American has lost his life in the ongoing Cherokee Saga. Police responded to reports of a body beside the westbound lane of HWY. 72 earlier today. The body of a man with one enormous testicle was discovered clutching what appears to be a large chicken leg. His face was smeared with a strange white substance and he had a disgusted expression on his face.

Some witnesses say a golf cart driven by a mad man dressed in a wolf costume was seen speeding from the scene. Many speculate the individual may be the person known as Cobra.

The body was later identified as that of Chief Onewhohanglow. The investigation continues and police ask the public for their help in solving these mysteries. samples of the white sticky substance found on the victim will be sent to the forensic lab for testing.

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