Hi to all my Forum Friends,
Yesterday, when I posted a wee bit of humor titled "Answered Prayer!" -- my two most devoted fans became upset that it mentioned an atheist. So, just to prove I am an equal opportunity joker -- I now submit my Baptist jokes.
THE ALABAMA BAPTIST DOG
A farmer lived alone in the Alabama countryside except for a pet dog which he doted on. The dog finally died and the farmer went to the local preacher, saying "Pastor, my dog is dead. Could you possibly say a few words for the poor creature?"
The preacher told the farmer, "No, we can't have services for an animal in the church. But I tell you what, there's a new denomination down the road apiece, and no telling what they believe in. Maybe they'll do something for the animal."
The farmer humbly told told the Baptist pastor, "Thank you, pastor. I'll go right now. By the way, do you think $50,000 is enough to donate for the service?"
The preacher grabbed the man's arm, and with a huge smile, asked him, "Why didn't you tell me your dog was a Baptist?"
A PENTECOSTAL BAPTIST DOG?
A Baptist couple felt it important to own an equally Baptist pet. So they went shopping at a kennel specializing in Baptist dogs. They found one dog they really liked. As a test, they told the dog to fetch the Bible; he did it in a flash. Then, they instructed him to look up Psalm 23. Once again, he did this equally fast, using his paws with dexterity.
Impressed, they purchased the animal, and took him home. That night, they had friends over for dinner. They were so proud of their new Baptist dog and his skills; they decided to show off a little. The friends were impressed! They asked whether the dog was able to do any of the usual dog tricks as well.
This stopped the couple cold. They hadn't thought of normal dog tricks. "Well," they said, "let's give it a try."
They called the dog --- and clearly pronounced the command, "Heel!"
Quick as a wink, the dog jumped up, put his paw on the man's forehead, closed his eyes in concentration, and bowed his head --- it was then that the couple realized they'd been deceived.
The shocked husband cried, “That kennel man didn’t tell us the dog was a Pentecostal ‘healer!’"
God bless, have a wonderful, blessed day,