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 Although not complete, here are a few tips gleaned from internet and other  sources....

 

If you are still here after May 21...

 

Do not drink any Kool-Aid if you did not prepare it yourself.

 

Disregard any “rapture” churches which ask you to agree to yearly contributions or have pamphlets detailing summer events.

 

If spaceships begin to appear in the sky, do not flee to L.A. Tom Cruise and Will Smith are actors and cannot help you.

 

Do not approach zombies even if you know them. That is not your Aunt Edna and she doesn’t want a hug ... she wants your brains.

 

Do not listen to any “preachers” who insist god is talking directly to them. 

 

To fully prepare yourself for life without power, gas or computers, please obtain a copy ofThe Amish Guide to Living.

 

U.S. currency and electronic devices will not be useful post-rapture. keep this in mind when writing out your “to-loot” list.

 

Not everyone is aware U.S. currency will be worthless. Keep this in mind when directing others to the “best looting places.”

 

Do not approach Paul McCartney or Elvis ... we have still not determined if either are alive or will be returning as zombies.

 

The old adage is true ... you don’t have to run fast, just faster than the guy who was ahead of you.

 

Do not kill other people when looting and rioting this will only increase the zombie population.

 

Raid will not kill the swarms of locusts, although recent testing indicates that Axe Body Spray will disintegrate them.

 

If you do not own firearms, make sure to locate a god-fearing neighbor who does.

 

If you see a Man eating guitars, not bars...or cars, you can be pretty sure he's not from Earth.

 

With Zombies...aim for the head.

 

Contrary to what every zombie movie has shown, DO NOT go over to a Zombie to check if it is dead. Another head shot should do the trick.

 

Do not let those in charge apply "the mark" to your head. You will be doomed forever!

Instead, make sure you have a "Sharpie" ( You can apply a "fake" mark just like you did when you signed your Moms name on report cards)

 

Disco will STILL not be cool.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Another person that knows far too little and misleads a great many people.  The Preacher I'm talking about and not anyone here.  See you all May 22nd.

 

Wow, thanks moderators.  I reported the post by simpletrading and within five minutes the post was gone.  So, hopefully, is the person that keeps posting for that site.

Got that covered.  I been "covetin" his wife for about six months. She's gonna tell him his buddy Elwood called and needs a tow from Louisiana. He's got a pool and a billiard table too. Man o man this wages of sin thing is turnin out pretty sweet. Did I mention he has a large collection of Gibson guitars and a dedicated beer refrigerator?

Originally Posted by bluetick:

Got that covered.  I been "covetin" his wife for about six months. She's gonna tell him his buddy Elwood called and needs a tow from Louisiana. He's got a pool and a billiard table too. Man o man this wages of sin thing is turnin out pretty sweet. Did I mention he has a large collection of Gibson guitars and a dedicated beer refrigerator?

 

Kinda sounds like the guys found Paradise already 

Originally Posted by JimiHendrix:

The preacher who is predicting the end is not worried about being wrong. If he is, he has over $70 million to spend consoling himself. Not a bad paycheck for looking like a fool.

 

Maybe something amazing  is about to happen?  Jimi and I are actually pretty close to agreeing on something.

Originally Posted by Blind Melon Chit'lin:
Originally Posted by JimiHendrix:

The preacher who is predicting the end is not worried about being wrong. If he is, he has over $70 million to spend consoling himself. Not a bad paycheck for looking like a fool.

 

 

 

And you do it for free.

Blind melon...I already like you. Welcome to the forum my friend. Welcome indeed. Anything I can do to help...anything..anything at all, you just let me know.

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