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Okay I'll begin with a disclaimer!  We are not brought into this world knowing everything there is to know about relationships or most anything else.  Most parents are just not even adequate in sharing information about things like that and then if they are it's usually disregarded account of the time difference and difference in society from when they were young and what is current.  That said though there are some things that need to be retaught or at least relearned.   


Tonight as I was having a late, fast food, dine at a local fast food establishment I noticed two College aged people, (boy/girl) dining together.  Okay granted they may have just been friends and it would be judgmental to assume otherwise.  Maybe they just came from Church and decided to get a meal together.  Still from this at least one lesson can be imparted maybe two.


Lesson #1)  Okay I'm being judgmental but the girl was a very lovely lady and any guy would be fortunate to have such eye candy in his list of potential girlfriends.  BFF or not guys when you dine with a beautiful young lady how about offering to pay her meal because she deserves it?  She's special and needs to feel that way and it's not a very expensive way to say hey your especial to me by buying two meximelts.   She certainly was lovely enough to warrant having her meal bought just because of how lovely she was.  As I said though it's possible they were just very good or maybe not so close friends and there was no potential love connection ever so maybe he didn't feel any reasons to pay for her meal along with his.  Maybe he just couldn't afford it but then I see so many today that I know can afford it and yet put their woman, girlfriend, or friend's needs behind theirs.  Guys it's time to show your potential friend, acquaintance just how special they are by offering to pay for them and treating them because they are special and allowing them to actually feel that way.


Lesson #2)  While the first may not apply, depending on the nature of the relationship, the second surely applies in all situations.   I observed the aftermath of seeing this young lady drop her key(s) down in the trashcan, accidentally, as she waited for her food.  Okay don't know how she got the key in there but it never the less was.  Again mind you the guy never offered to put his hand down in the trash bag to go fishing for the key but the store manager was quick to provide a set of plastic disposable gloves to the girl as well as helping her fish through the trash for the key and thankfully found it.   No fishing for the key is not the lesson.


After eating their meal I happened to look over to their table and saw that both of them and left the restaurant and there trash all over the table where they had just been sitting.  Why leave the trash?  Yes some minimum wage restaurant employee will have something to do but both of you surely knew there was a trash can for at least one of you had your hands all down in the bag while the other stood over and watched.   The excuse that you didn't know there was a trash can doesn't fly.  Common courtesy would just dictate that you pick up after yourself when you are through and not make another clean up after you.  


Okay I know there will be some detractors but hopefully not too many.  What there are too many of are guys who, today, seem not to care about anyone but themselves and won't hit a lick at a snake.  They want the girl to take care of them, buy them dinner or lunch and many times cause they don't have a job and can't afford it.   Girls .... take a note!  Most of you settle.  Don't sell yourself short and feel you won't get anyone else.  Sometimes it's the hard to get ones that cause the most desirability.  There are such things as manners and times changing doesn't mean they go out of style.  Chivalry is not dead either and goes a long way toward saying your special to me even if there is not a relationship there .... who knows there could be a budding one and it's a great way to say hey your special to me.


Okay off my soap box.

Be as the Bereans ( Acts 17:11 )

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Which lesson are you teaching? Good looking women should be pampered and have their way paid simply because of their looks? Or, fellas, buy her a meal and she'll pretty much become mush in your arms? What if they were brother and sister? What if she didn't want him paying for her meal simply because she didn't want to be indebted to him? How good looking was he? Maybe she should have paid for his meal. What if one or both of them are gay and it doesn't matter how lovely she is or handsome he may be? And, how much of a catch is either of them, regardless of looks, if they can't even clean up after themselves or keep the keys out of the garbage?

How does their being College aged people mean they were actually in college? Could be they were just good friends going dutch for a meal. As far as not cleaning off their table, could be they were either lazy & didn't care or were never taught to clean up after themselves.

Does this mean a female has to look good to have her food paid for by a male & an ugly female has to buy her own?

Just because this particular woman was attractive to me doesn't mean or shouldn't be taken to mean I meant only those who I deem attractive should be treated special but rather IF a certain man wants to make a woman feel special, granted usually that person would have some attractive traits to the person, then they should be willing to express that rather than not.   The key point is to make the person feel special if you want them to feel special and that is ONE way in which it can be done.  I did though go out of my way to express that I didn't know the circumstances and that my suggestion might not apply so why make something out of nothing?   I'm not.


As for the second point about picking up after themselves that I did apply to all.  


As for why put it here?  There was not another more reasonable place to post it for my target audience would be College age youth who might be more of having a job or means to pay for their date although High School or teens might could be a location also or Misc but I chose a forum where I felt more of the target audience would be to read it.


Getting back to the original or first point .... There are naturally some perks that come naturally to those we find attractive verses those that are not deemed so "attractive".  It's highly subjective therefore varies greatly from person to person so it applies or could apply to anyone for there is someone somewhere, everywhere, that finds beauty in someone or some person where another person might not find that kind of beauty.  Point is that far too many men today are lazy and feel as if the girl should take care of them and in that are the feminist have gone too far, in my opinion.  Facts are though that whether you agree or like it or not the beauties get by without the traffic tickets and get warnings or get more looks or perks than those who are not so conforming to what society currently deems as beautiful or attractive.  I'm not trying to justify it but rather say IF (to the men) a girl is special to you for WHATEVER reason then it should be expressed or shown.  That's simply all there is to it, not looking for a fight or argument in doing so and not expressing an opinion about anyone on here.   


You women, as you get older or wiser, do essentially the same thing when you get picky or many do.  The men who have better looks gets your eye or who have greater wealth.  Doesn't always apply nor should it but money and finances do have a way of making a moderately attractive man appear more acceptable to many women.   With men some may look for wealth but usually it's far more basic and goes to physical appearance. 

Originally Posted by Road Puppy:

I can say with certainty that chivalry is *not* dead.


It just......'hides' from time to time.


I wish I had observed that which makes you so confidant as I have yet to see, in our youth (high school and College age) that I have had the opportunity to observe the expression of it.  I'm sure with the numbers there are those that are the exception but I fear the bell curve has been skewed much more in the opposite direction as we have moved into the new millennium or it may just be the area of the Nation we are in.

I dunno, gbrk.


I never met any men like you described above. (The take care of me type).  I've *heard* of them, but never met any.  Those aren't *men.*  Not by a long shot, but then I don't have to tell ya that.


Nowadays it can be hard to tell exactly *how* a man is supposed to act around certain women.  There aren't always visual or audible clues (and most guys need 'em). Here's why:


I can remember walking into the town hall in Ridgefield, Connecticut about two decades ago and running into one of those self-proclaimed 'empowered' women working behind the front desk. After I took care of my taxes, I asked the woman using the same courtesy I would treat anybody strange to me with-"Excuse me ma'am, could you direct me to the nearest restroom, please?"


"MA'AM!?" she bellowed....."Why I'll have you know that...blahblahblahehhhhBOOOMaliliWAHWAHBIPbipbop-a-loodle-ah, WHOA YEAH!" etc, etc. and what a piece of pond scum I was for treating her like some fragile 'lady' to be respected.


So as my one eyebrow started to raise as it is want to do when I get in a mischievous, evil frame of mind, I slowly stood back one step and re-asked her, "Hey Buddy. I gotta take a leak-Which way's the p*sser?"


Ya want 'equality so bad?' Here's a freakin' shovel full.


Nowadays, girls get in worse fights than guys. Guys just usually wanna beat each other.

Girls wanna flippin' kill each other.

Anyway, if chivalry is appearing dead in places, look around at how many femin*a*z*is there are in that area and you'll prolly see why.




Last edited by Road Puppy

I try to avoid places where people indulge in personal combat.  However, in my youth, I crossed the Tennessee line many times to visit Johnnies, among others. Some of those places checked you for guns and knives -- then offered loaners if you didn't have any.  The most ferocious fights I saw were when two women went at each other.  Usually, the guys viewed them for a few minutes. Then, when things go serious, the guys would wrap an arm around their girlfriend's waist and walk out carrying them. 

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