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1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.

3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before.

4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.

5. "Onced" and "Twiced" are words.

6. "Jawl-P?" means, Did you all go to the bathroom?

7. People actually grow, eat and like okra and collards.

8. "Fixinto" is one word. It means "I'm going to do that".

9. There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there's supper.

10. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South.

11. "Backwards and forwards" means I know everything about you.

12. The word "jeet" is actually a question meaning, 'Did you eat?'

13. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

14. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em.

15. "Ya'll" is mostly singular. "All ya'll" is always plural.

16. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.

17. You carry jumper cables in your car - for your OWN car.

18. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, mustard, tabasco and ketchup.

19. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports, the motor sports, and gossip.

20. Everyone you meet is a: Darlin', Honey, Sugar, Baby, or Miss (first name) or Mr. (first name).

21. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

22. You know what a hissy fit is..

23. Fried catfish is the other white meat.

24. We don't need no Driver's Ed. If our Mama says we can drive, we can drive!!!

25. NEVER dispute or say anything bad about Mama!

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Originally Posted by semiannualchick:

1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.

3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before.

4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.

5. "Onced" and "Twiced" are words.

6. "Jawl-P?" means, Did you all go to the bathroom?

7. People actually grow, eat and like okra and collards.

8. "Fixinto" is one word. It means "I'm going to do that".

9. There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there's supper.

10. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South.

11. "Backwards and forwards" means I know everything about you.

12. The word "jeet" is actually a question meaning, 'Did you eat?'

13. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

14. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em.

15. "Ya'll" is mostly singular. "All ya'll" is always plural.

16. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.

17. You carry jumper cables in your car - for your OWN car.

18. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, mustard, tabasco and ketchup.

19. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports, the motor sports, and gossip.

20. Everyone you meet is a: Darlin', Honey, Sugar, Baby, or Miss (first name) or Mr. (first name).

21. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

22. You know what a hissy fit is..

23. Fried catfish is the other white meat.

24. We don't need no Driver's Ed. If our Mama says we can drive, we can drive!!!

25. NEVER dispute or say anything bad about Mama!

 

 

LOL! But...you ...forgot...one.

A CRITICAL one...

When scientists recover the remains...of Southerners, millions of years from now...they will discover that...during the "Ice Ages" of the South...Southerners subsided on "Milk an' bread" during those harsh times...

 

 

People have subsisted on milk and bread since man has existed. It's not just in the South where the stores have a "run on milk and bread" if bad weather threatens. Milk for cereal and bread for sandwiches. If you lose power you can put the milk outside or in an unheated garage to keep it cold, same with sandwich meats. Don't forget the instant coffee. That's really "roughing it" imo, but you do what you have to do.

The way I heard it was that southerners believe that possums (and/or armadillos) are born dead by the side of the road.

 

"Faints" is the rusty chain link enclosure around your mobile home.

 

The chief use of concrete blocks is to keep a car up off the ground after its tires have been removed when it is put into service as a chicken roost.

 

A dictionary is a good book to have because it is big enough to use as a door stop.

 

Don't drive around with any more than 8 people in a 1974 Pontiac land yacht.  Crowdin' up more than that looks country.

 

 

Originally Posted by earthmomma:

semi, I think you have intiated some fun for us today.  I am glad you live down the road a piece from me!   It's 5:30am and the internet says 5 degrees when I mash on the weather channel icon.  Thanks for chuckles.  I am fixin' to go fix some coffee!

___

 

So, in the South, "fix" can mean either repair or prepare.

 

Many Southerners are very strong.  Many times I have heard certain of my relatives agree to "carry" someone somewhere miles away:  "I'll carry you there."  And at times they would commit to "carry you there directly," with "directly" having nothing to do with the shortest distance between points of travel but rather with only a short delay before departure..

Originally Posted by mad American:

The southern lady I am married to don't bother with bless yer heart.  She just tells me to go to hell, or whatever else is on her mind.

_________________________________________

Our dainty southern flowers (steel magnolias) save that term for those not of their family.  Being family, you get the full treatment.

 

The smoke from the fireplace goes up the "chimbley."  And that device that you turn counterclockwise to get water from is a "spicket".   If it is an outdoor "spicket," you most likely connect a "hose pipe" to it from time to time.

 

Those little diggers that tear up your lawn are called "ground moles," which, of course, distinguishes them from such other critters as the tree moles with which we all are so familiar. Similar for "tooth dentist" and "hot water heater," although we share the latter with most of the rest of the country.

 

And when  a lady's husband passes on, it leaves her a "widow woman" a term that clearly distinguishes her from a widow man (Wait a minute--who says "widow man"?) Oh, never mind; you know what mean..

Originally Posted by Contendah:

The smoke from the fireplace goes up the "chimbley."  And that device that you turn counterclockwise to get water from is a "spicket".   If it is an outdoor "spicket," you most likely connect a "hose pipe" to it from time to time.

 

Those little diggers that tear up your lawn are called "ground moles," which, of course, distinguishes them from such other critters as the tree moles with which we all are so familiar. Similar for "tooth dentist" and "hot water heater," although we share the latter with most of the rest of the country.

 

And when  a lady's husband passes on, it leaves her a "widow woman" a term that clearly distinguishes her from a widow man (Wait a minute--who says "widow man"?) Oh, never mind; you know what mean..

You are so lame

Originally Posted by CaptainCrusader:
Originally Posted by Contendah:

The smoke from the fireplace goes up the "chimbley."  And that device that you turn counterclockwise to get water from is a "spicket".   If it is an outdoor "spicket," you most likely connect a "hose pipe" to it from time to time.

 

Those little diggers that tear up your lawn are called "ground moles," which, of course, distinguishes them from such other critters as the tree moles with which we all are so familiar. Similar for "tooth dentist" and "hot water heater," although we share the latter with most of the rest of the country.

 

And when  a lady's husband passes on, it leaves her a "widow woman" a term that clearly distinguishes her from a widow man (Wait a minute--who says "widow man"?) Oh, never mind; you know what mean.

_________.

You are so lame

__________

Not nearly as lame as a certain humorless Darth Vader wannabee (or whatever that silly icon is supposed to represent).  Why don't you make a contribution to this light-hearted string instead of coming off as the southbound end of a northbound horse?

 

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