Well, I guess that settles that....

I'm thinking of you dogsoldier. I hope you get that good news soon.

Sorry about that, DS. And I don’t mean to trivialize what you’re going through by that brief comment. Something very similar happened to someone I know. Difference is, he had it coming.

Long as you are connected to your daughter, the good news you seek will come in due time.

My ex sounds like your ex. My daughter & I now share a very special relationship. She named my grandson after her husband’s and my side of the families. I doubt she will ever name any child after her mother.

Hang in there.

I'm sorry about that. Maybe you and her new husband can go out to a nice dinner or something instead.

Hoping that you have GOOD NEWS soon!

Her mom has also forbidden my parents from attending the wedding of the only grand-daughter they will ever have, as well.

Sorry for the tough time you are going through.Just happy you are showing support for your daughter.Stay connected their,as there will always be that connection that no one can break.you will be in our thoughts.

be thankful you're not still married to such a spiteful person...

Awww, I am so very sorry you are going through this!!!

Maybe she has plans to actually visit you after the wedding to try to make up for it, I sure hope so because I know that someday she is going to regret this decision,

I don't WANT her to have any regrets. I don't WANT her to be angry at her mom. And I don't want her to be angry at HERSELF...ever.

You know what bothers me most? The fact that someone her mom married 5 months after our divorce...is walking MY LITTLE GIRL down the aisle.

Hey dog.. I think you need this

((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))

sorry to hear you are going through this, will keep you & your daughter in my prayers. Yes be glad you got rid of the ex!

Mr. Dog, Don't sweat it. It is a bitter pill to swallow. I have been there, done that and have the dam* Tee shirt. Good thing is, now the kids dumped her and realized what had happened and we are a big happy group with lots of Grandkids and lots of fun. It does not not take long to replace old feelings with beautiful Memories.

I cannot imagine a parent (especially a MOTHER) setting out to ruin her daughter's wedding like that! Shame on your ex-wife! But you know, I can't see asking my step-father to walk me down the aisle if my father were still around to do it. Has your ex-wife always had so much control over your daughter? I'd want both of my parents to be at my wedding (and all my grandparents) and anyone who didn't like it could stay home!! Hopefully your daughter will put her foot down and stop allowing your ex-wife to control who does and does not attend the wedding. Whose special day is this anyway??

God bless you and I hope this all works out!

quote:

Originally posted by T S C:
I cannot imagine a parent (especially a MOTHER) setting out to ruin her daughter's wedding like that! Shame on your ex-wife! But you know, I can't see asking my step-father to walk me down the aisle if my father were still around to do it. Has your ex-wife always had so much control over your daughter? I'd want both of my parents to be at my wedding (and all my grandparents) and anyone who didn't like it could stay home!! Hopefully your daughter will put her foot down and stop allowing your ex-wife to control who does and does not attend the wedding. Whose special day is this anyway??

God bless you and I hope this all works out!

I agree with TSC. Your daughter needs to stand on her own two feet. Unless your wife is footing the bill for the event, she really shouldn't have any say in it. And if she is footing the bill, your daughter should not be letting her hold her wedding hostage!

Sorry you are having to go through this.

That's so sad.. for you & your daughter.

quote:

Posted 01 October 2007 02:22 PM Hide Post
I don't WANT her to have any regrets. I don't WANT her to be angry at her mom. And I don't want her to be angry at HERSELF...ever.

You know what bothers me most? The fact that someone her mom married 5 months after our divorce...is walking MY LITTLE GIRL down the aisle.

Sweetie, just be glad he was good enough to her for her to want him to walk her down the aisle. It would've been far worse if he'd not be good to her and you couldn't have done anything.

I promise you, as one who has been there, done that, this will backfire on the hussy. The kids grow up quickly after they are married. They don't have to depend on mama for stuff. You'll see a big change soon.

I am sorry DS.

My father and I don't have a good relationship, (this due really to him) but I could never imagine him not having had a part of my wedding no matter what. He didn't walk me down the aisle though, but still, I don't see why your daughter doesn't put her foot down and refuse letting her mother say no to you.

Have you talked to your daughter first hand and (without letting her know other people have told you) seen what she had to say about her wedding? I think if possible, you should do that. At very least, she should be the one to tell you whether she wants you there or not, not have everyone else do it (maybe even for her).

This is tough, but I wish you all the best. I hope that your daughter one day wakes up and realizes what her mother and uncle are doing. Your parent's shouldn't be left out either.

This is so sad. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that maybe something can be worked out so that you can attend. My thoughts to you hun.

~Amanda

D.S...
All I can do is just shake my head at an adult that is suppose to be thinking of her daughter,s day...not revenge for things between your ex and yourself...
In my mind you have two immature people here...your ex who is acting like a 14 year teenager...and a daughter who does not have the maturity to get married...allowing one parent to use her wedding as a weapon against another shows lack of strength to control her life...
I predict your ex will destroy her marriage within the year...
It is your daughter that needs to re-think things through and grow up...this is not throwing rocks at your daughter...just making an observation..
You have no control over it...you are doing the right thing...Keep your head high ...your daughter will be grateful to you ....but I assure you she will never forget what pressure her mother has put her under on her wedding day...

From what my ex-BIL has told me, my EX is refusing to help with the wedding. I've also learned that my ex-MIL actually ADORES the guy my daughter wants to marry and appears more like her 'old self' in his company. But hey...she adored ME, too!

From what my ex-BIL tells me, my daughter and her new husband will reside in Arkansas, 1 state and several hours away from her mom, making it more difficult to exert any control over her.

quote:

Originally posted by T S C:
I cannot imagine a parent (especially a MOTHER) setting out to ruin her daughter's wedding like that! Shame on your ex-wife! But you know, I can't see asking my step-father to walk me down the aisle if my father were still around to do it. Has your ex-wife always had so much control over your daughter? I'd want both of my parents to be at my wedding (and all my grandparents) and anyone who didn't like it could stay home!! Hopefully your daughter will put her foot down and stop allowing your ex-wife to control who does and does not attend the wedding. Whose special day is this anyway??

God bless you and I hope this all works out!

dog, really read TSC's reply, THAT is why I said your daughter would regret it someday, NOT because you don't WANT her to, it will just happen naturally, sad but true.

You already know that all of us have regrets in one thing or another.

Someday your daughter will realize just the HUGE effect that her very own Mother had on what is supposed to be the 'best day of her life' and even though you are taking the selfless side, she will be extremely mad and hurt.

You, my friend, will be the one she picks to help her pick up the pieces, and I KNOW you will be there for her then!!

Again, I am so very sorry this is happening, it just is NOT right.

Aww, DS. There's nothing more that I can add, but know that I am really sorry this is happening, and I hope you can keep yourself busy that day so as not to dwell on it.

Hugs to you my friend. I will keep you in my thoughts..

Well, Dog, there's not much else I can add either. Everybody has already said it all for me... just keep your head up, be there for your daughter when she needs you, which she will.
Talk to us if you need more support. I think we do that well.

DS---I was going to say what Missing Bama said. She will need you! I am taking one of my periodic prolonged absences from church so I can remain a Christian- but- read the story of The Prodigal Son again and again. Christ also forgave us and we all hurt him every day ---not just physically as crucifixion but in the heart as you have been hurt. I hurt with you.

quote:

Originally posted by traderconnections:
D.S...
All I can do is just shake my head at an adult that is suppose to be thinking of her daughter,s day...not revenge for things between your ex and yourself...
In my mind you have two immature people here...your ex who is acting like a 14 year teenager...and a daughter who does not have the maturity to get married...allowing one parent to use her wedding as a weapon against another shows lack of strength to control her life...
I predict your ex will destroy her marriage within the year...
It is your daughter that needs to re-think things through and grow up...this is not throwing rocks at your daughter...just making an observation..
You have no control over it...you are doing the right thing...Keep your head high ...your daughter will be grateful to you ....but I assure you she will never forget what pressure her mother has put her under on her wedding day...

I think 'the wedding' is my daughter's attempt(subconcious?) to 'break away' from her mom....and her mom SEES it as such, hence her refusal to assist in the wedding.

I wish my daughter all the best in beginning her 'new' life and will continue to ask God to Bless them. That's all I can do.

It is sad it has to be this way dog, but it is making a stronger person out of you. You need to remember one thing, the situation at hand is only a temporary one and it is important you do not make it a perminet one. The best thing for you to do now is to gather information as it comes to you and don't forget it.
Some day your daughter will come to you, then will be the time you can be the father your ex cannot prevent you from being. Don't ever forget patience is a virtue, and you will have your day soon enough.

Having a pretty low tolerance for BS...this just ticks me off.

You are a good man to be handling this with grace. ( Not often that a man is accused of having grace, now is it?)

I could easily pitch a fit and show up, but what would that accomplish, other than do exactly what my EX desires....to hang a cloud over my daughter's 'special day'. Perhaps I'll be allowed to see my first grandchild, if and when THAT 'special day' rolls around.

I think as your daughter looks back on the day, even if it's looking back from just an hour or two, she'll realize their was a cloud anyway....
You taking the high road is very admirable and shows how much you love her.

DS,

I hate to read what you are going through. While I don’t know all the particulars, it makes me so sad to think you have to miss a very important moment in your daughter’s life. I’ve never been in a situation like yours, so anything I could say could be worthless. My daughter is only seven years old. I have no idea of the heck and pain your family has been though to be where it is today. Is there even a snowballs chance that you, your daughter and your ex can meet somewhere to talk? What about if you showed up at your daughter’s doorsteps (with flowers…flowers are good here ) and take her to dinner and spill every emotion you have to her? Everything. No holding back.

When I got married, we had scheduled my wedding at a time when both of my older sisters couldn’t get off work. I knew that ahead of time but didn’t change. There’s no animosity between us but I didn’t change the date because I was so naive. They are missing in my wedding pictures and it makes me disgusted to this day. They never asked me to change the day because I know they just wanted me to be happy. But oh how I wish they would have or that I wouldn’t have been so blind by something so simple that would affect me for years to come. Everyone’s grandmother usually has some type of saying and mine would say, “Life is not a dress rehearsal.” I sincerely hate to imagine any types of regrets that you or your daughter might have. Whether it’s wedding photos or you missing out of the sweetest honors/memories of walking your daughter down the aisle. Just as important, missing out on two loving grandparents being there.

I think it’s very honorable that you want to do what makes her happy. But is it just what makes her happy or what’ll make her mother happy? My husband’s mother and dad divorced after 25 years of marriage and his dad remarried. It was terrible planning our kid’s birthday parties here and there. My husband, his sister, and his parents had a meeting. Ever since then, they both attend birthdays at the same time. They don’t talk to each other and remain civil for the kids and grandkids. I have noticed a difference in the relief that my husband and SIL have when they all get together or try to make plans for getting together.

I wish you the best and peace with whatever you and your daughter decide. And if this is nothing you want to hear, just overlook it.

I had my ex-BIL ask her...specifically....and she said 'No', for the reason previously stated.

Night before last, I asked my wife to 'promise me something': I asked her to promise me that no matter how much I hate her EX(God only knows how much!), to NOT allow me to interfere with her 2 daughter's weddings in any way. Prior to my 'ordeal', I can't say that I would have asked that of her.

DS, I find your story ironic considering my own. I wanted my Dad to walk me down the isle and he refused...just said he couldn't - no explanation. I was floored. My mother (they divorced when I was 5) told me that he was too ashamed of his life, that it was about him and not me. Somehow at the time, that didn't help much. My maternal grandfather, still alive at the time, thank God, walked me down the isle.

We were not without drama, however, because my mother-in-law made a scene regarding my father-in-law and his bride to be and the seating arrangements of said persons. I didn't know anything about it at the time, but was told later. Thankfully, there was no cloud for us since we were unaware of it.

Sorry, I do go on, don't I? That said, I agree with whoever said that you are handling this maturely even though it is painful for you. Your daughter will regret this decision more than likely, but it's by our mistakes that we grow and learn. She'll be okay, DS. Don't worry about her. Yes, it's a big day, but she will have many big days and perhaps because of this mistake, she will know that you should be a part of the rest of her life. It will work out in the longrun. I'll be praying for you and your wife as you go through this and also for your daughter, that this will teach her a vital lesson & break the control that her mother has over her.

dogsoldier0513, don't know how I missed this post. A daddy's love for his daughter is one of the greatest things in this whole wide world. If you don't get to attend the wedding, someday she will realize that she overlooked an orchid while searching for a rose.

Dang, Bluesman! I didn't realize you were a poet.... Thanks.

we all need to meet down at old town that day and lift a glass. having been thru a similar situation, I hurt with you. thoughts and prayers...

I suppose hiding in the bushes, waiting for the bride and groom to drive away and all of us mooning the mother of the bride is not such a great idea, huh?

quote:

Originally posted by vick13:
I suppose hiding in the bushes, waiting for the bride and groom to drive away and all of us mooning the mother of the bride is not such a great idea, huh?

quote:

Originally posted by bluesman*:
A daddy's love for his daughter is one of the greatest things in this whole wide world. someday she will realize that she overlooked an orchid while searching for a rose.

Wow! How sweet!!

quote:

Originally posted by monster:
we all need to meet down at old town that day and lift a glass. having been thru a similar situation, I hurt with you. thoughts and prayers...

I'll try and post some pics later. I'll take you up on the offer later this week.

quote:

Originally posted by dogsoldier0513:

quote:

Originally posted by monster:
we all need to meet down at old town that day and lift a glass. having been thru a similar situation, I hurt with you. thoughts and prayers...

I'll try and post some pics later. I'll take you up on the offer later this week.

I work every night thru friday and will be out of town the weekend. so if the first of next week is good, we'll shoot for then.

The one sure thing to come out of this is that your daughter will be sorry later on. I know that is small comfort.

However, perhaps it can make your relationship with your wife's family closer. There's always a silver lining--sorry to sound so prosaic, but it's true.

Still, just why is you daughter letting her mother control her so? Isn't there some way she can stand up for herself. She should at least elope...

quote:

Originally posted by SaltyDog:
DS, I'll bet she'll (your ex) find a way to make a scene or cause trouble about something anyway.

I've already heard from my ex-BIL that my EX was overheard saying '...her daddy didn't even come to his own daughter's wedding...'.

I was in a 'lose/lose' situation from the 'get go'.

As for the 'control' issue...look up 'PAS'(Parental Alienation Syndrome).

Well, DS, as presumed, your ex-wife is a controlling, deceitful, self-serving hag. God is NOT going to bless that. I'm serious. What goes around comes around. She will get what she's asking for and will get no sympathy from us because she worked so hard to get it. I also think that as your daughter matures and pulls away from the situation, she will see her mother for what she is. I know waiting stinks but it'll all come out in the wash.

Yes...I'm VERY proud and happy for her.

What a gorgeous smile!

quote:

I've already heard from my ex-BIL that my EX was overheard saying '...her daddy didn't even come to his own daughter's wedding...'.

and what a b!tch....how long were you married to that? was she always that way?

meanwhile, we wait for the law of three to kick in...and to kick her in the a ss.

Know why divorce is so expensive? Because it's worth it.

quote:

Originally posted by (aka)PuckerupFrog:
What a gorgeous smile!

quote:

I've already heard from my ex-BIL that my EX was overheard saying '...her daddy didn't even come to his own daughter's wedding...'.

and what a b!tch....how long were you married to that? was she always that way?

meanwhile, we wait for the law of three to kick in...and to kick her in the a ss.

We were married for almost 22 years. We dated for almost 3 years prior to getting married, though. No, she wasn't 'always like that'. The divorce of her dad and step-mom(ca. 1989), I think, was her 'breaking point'. Her dad was a BIG TIME East Tennessee CoC minister that had some BIG TIME 'skeletons' in his closet and was caught(literally) with his pants down.

quote:

I think, was her 'breaking point'. Her dad was a BIG TIME East Tennessee CoC minister that had some BIG TIME 'skeletons' in his closet and was caught(literally) with his pants down.

wow, what a terrible thing to find out about your Dad...but still no excuse for the way she behaved in regards to your daughter's wedding, right?

quote:

Originally posted by dogsoldier0513:
Yes...I'm VERY proud and happy for her.

OH, she is beautiful, dogsoldier. Thank you for sharing the picture with us.

quote:

Originally posted by monster:

quote:

Originally posted by dogsoldier0513:

quote:

Originally posted by monster:
we all need to meet down at old town that day and lift a glass. having been thru a similar situation, I hurt with you. thoughts and prayers...

I'll try and post some pics later. I'll take you up on the offer later this week.

I work every night thru friday and will be out of town the weekend. so if the first of next week is good, we'll shoot for then.

Hey you two, can we all come????

quote:

Originally posted by dogsoldier0513:
Yes...I'm VERY proud and happy for her.

She is very beautiful dogsoldier.... I know you are a very proud dad.

That is one gorgeous young lady. She will return to your arms someday, just you wait and see!!!

She's beautiful!

She's so pretty! She looks like every one of my daughter's girlfriends! She looks like all of her bridesmaids!

quote:

Originally posted by dogsoldier0513:
I've already heard from my ex-BIL that my EX was overheard saying '...her daddy didn't even come to his own daughter's wedding...'.

I was in a 'lose/lose' situation from the 'get go'.

As for the 'control' issue...look up 'PAS'(Parental Alienation Syndrome).

he knew the situation and didn't speak up? folks like that kill me. they both need to rot in the depths.

Listen, punkin, listen good. I promise you this: she will get hers. Promise, promise, promise. It never fails.

quote:

Originally posted by monster:

quote:

Originally posted by dogsoldier0513:
I've already heard from my ex-BIL that my EX was overheard saying '...her daddy didn't even come to his own daughter's wedding...'.

I was in a 'lose/lose' situation from the 'get go'.

As for the 'control' issue...look up 'PAS'(Parental Alienation Syndrome).

he knew the situation and didn't speak up? folks like that kill me. they both need to rot in the depths.

Yes, he knew. And like myself, he didn't wish to 'cause a scene' at what was my daughter's 'special day'. An outburst of any sort would have simply given my EX what she desires: ATTENTION.

quote:

Originally posted by vick13:
Listen, punkin, listen good. I promise you this: she will get hers. Promise, promise, promise. It never fails.

"Ever mind the law of three, what goes out comes back to thee. . ."

quote:

Yes, he knew. And like myself, he didn't wish to 'cause a scene' at what was my daughter's 'special day'. An outburst of any sort would have simply given my EX what she desires: ATTENTION.

at some point maybe someone DOES need to cause a scene, and a big one....there are too many like your ex that get away with their sh!tty behavior because others don't want to cause a scene.... and they count on that so they can go on getting their own way.

As I already stated, I was in a 'lose/lose' situation.

i know that's a helpless feeling....but the main thing now is that your daughter is happy and has a good marriage, right?

Lord, I hope and pray she has a WONDERFUL marriage. And yes, she is hopefully out from under her mom's immediate control and influence. She and her new hubby have jobs in another state.

Another pic!

she looks like something out of a magazine!

I hope she looks like you, sweetie. Her mom doesn't doeserve to look anything like this!

The only thing she shares with her mom is her hair color. She has my eyes...and temperment. She's also 'altitudenally challenged'(she's only 4'11") like my mom. As Salutarion of her HS class, she's much smarter than either of her parents.

DS, if she wasn't already taken, all the single guys on here would be asking you for her hand in marriage at this point. LOL

Seriously, you have every reason to be proud and if she takes after you (thank God!), then we know we'd all like her.

quote:

Originally posted by dogsoldier0513:
As I already stated, I was in a 'lose/lose' situation.

Dog,

Have you considered counseling?

You REALLY need to talk to someone besides us if you want to settle this silly situation once and for all.

Seriously, you need help.

quote:

Originally posted by GoFish:

quote:

Originally posted by dogsoldier0513:
As I already stated, I was in a 'lose/lose' situation.

Dog,

Have you considered counseling?

You REALLY need to talk to someone besides us if you want to settle this silly situation once and for all.

Seriously, you need help.

Silly situation????

GoFish, you really need to just go the F*** away.........

quote:

Originally posted by allysmom:

quote:

Originally posted by GoFish:

quote:

Originally posted by dogsoldier0513:
As I already stated, I was in a 'lose/lose' situation.

Dog,

Have you considered counseling?

You REALLY need to talk to someone besides us if you want to settle this silly situation once and for all.

Seriously, you need help.

Silly situation????

GoFish, you really need to just go the F*** away.........

I don't think they MAKE counseling that makes an absent parent not love their kid, and a custodial parent making their kid hate the other one like this.

Your answer was totally out of line, and I have to say that I ADMIRE DS so much for how he handled this situation.

He handled it like a true gentleman!!!!

What did HE do to make YOU turn on him so???

GoFish doesn't like anyone.

Dogsoldier, you must be one good looking guy to have produced such a beautiful daughter.

Gofish, since you are only make believe and not real, I mean you admit you are not the way in person, as you are on here, how can you suggest someone needs help.
DS, don't listen to Gofish.

quote:

Originally posted by unclegus:
Gofish, since you are only make believe and not real, I mean you admit you are not the way in person, as you are on here, how can you suggest someone needs help.
DS, don't listen to Gofish.

I bet he is the SAME in person as on here, unclegus. One can only keep up a facade' for so long, then it slips.

And DS, your daughter is gorgeous, and someday she WILL make it all up to you what you missed out on THIS ONE time!!!!

quote:

Originally posted by yankeewitch:
GoFish doesn't like anyone.

Dogsoldier, you must be one good looking guy to have produced such a beautiful daughter.

YW, it must really suck to live a lifetime and never even like anyone. Wow, that is amazing!!!

GoFish,

I accepted your PM the other day at face value...you simply enjoy stirring the pot...and let it go at that.

However, until YOU have walked in MY shoes and have had MY experiences in life, PLEASE keep your comments regarding such to yourself.

I hope to God, you never experience the pain this dad has felt.

You know what dogsoldier, I bet GoFish has had everything handed to him on a silver platter his whole life.... Any idiot should see how hard this has been for you... You take comfort in knowing that you do have friends here that care and share that pain with you..

quote:

Originally posted by dogsoldier0513:
I hope to God, you never experience the pain this dad has felt.

Who the hell are you to assume I haven't? And you think you got bad? At this very moment, I am assisting a woman who's young son was MURDERED recently. I have another client who's son will killed in a car accident two years ago and she is still a walking zombie.

Look, you've got some very deep, disturbing issues that you need help with. These good folks on this board are too nice to tell you that but it seems to be true. I'm not saying you are disturbed - I don't know you. I'm not saying the issues are your fault, your ex's, your daughter's or anyones else's. You have revealed a few person issues since I've been hanging around here and I think you are a walking time bomb.

When I stated "silly" earlier, it was just a figure of speech. I meant no offense, promise. But turning to us forum morons ("forons") for the serious help you need? Now THAT'S really silly.

So, you can keep whining about your personal issues or seek professional help. That is the best advice you will ever receive. PM me for a name and phone number of someone who really can help.

Or not.

quote:

Originally posted by allysmom:
You take comfort in knowing that you do have friends here that care and share that pain with you..

"Friends"? So do y'all hang out? Buy him dinner? Has a single one of you offered to do something "real" for this person?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

Where I come from, folks whose name you don't even know are not called "friends." A friend is someone who will tell you the truth. Even when it hurts.

Especially when it hurts.

Dog,...... forget the counseling thing. You dont need it. But simply try to make plans now to spend Thanksgiving and/or Christmas with your daughter and son-in-law. But hurry, beat the ex to the punch.

quote:

Originally posted by GoFish:

quote:

Originally posted by dogsoldier0513:
I hope to God, you never experience the pain this dad has felt.

Who the hell are you to assume I haven't? And you think you got bad? At this very moment, I am assisting a woman who's young son was MURDERED recently. I have another client who's son will killed in a car accident two years ago and she is still a walking zombie.

Look, you've got some very deep, disturbing issues that you need help with. These good folks on this board are too nice to tell you that but it seems to be true. I'm not saying you are disturbed - I don't know you. I'm not saying the issues are your fault, your ex's, your daughter's or anyones else's. You have revealed a few person issues since I've been hanging around here and I think you are a walking time bomb.

When I stated "silly" earlier, it was just a figure of speech. I meant no offense, promise. But turning to us forum morons ("forons") for the serious help you need? Now THAT'S really silly.

So, you can keep whining about your personal issues or seek professional help. That is the best advice you will ever receive. PM me for a name and phone number of someone who really can help.

Or not.

GoFish, just because you have "assisted" a couple of people, who have heartaches, does not mean that you have any idea of what DS is experiencing. I cannot imagine how you could be any help to anyone. You seem to be cold, uncaring, indifferent, and cynical. I think you would probably be one of the last places I would turn for help, or advice. You also seem to be hateful and judgemental.

Why would you tell DS that he has some deep, disturbing issues that he needs help with? Sherlock, I don't mean to shoot you down here, but, I think he worked that out for himself. As far as him whinning about personal issues, I don't hear him whinning. He is discussing an issue that is near and dear to his heart. I don't think that he has any notion that we are going to solve this issue for him. I can tell you that he can be made to feel better about the situation, just by knowing that other people have been through similar situations, and/or they just simply care that he has to endure.

As far as professional help, that may be an option for DS. Then again, if he gets into a situation with a pro with your attitude and temperment, I don't really see where they would be of any help, regardless of whatever is hanging in a frame on their wall.

I for one, do not appreciate you calling me a forum moron. You know nothing of me. You go as far as to say he is a walking time bomb. That is amazing that you can know so much about DS, just from what you have read here.

This may seriously be a case of "...heal thy self". You maybe could really benefit from some professional counseling. I think you said you had a name and a number. I know that you didn't ask for help/advice, didn't cost you a dime. Who knows, you may thank me one day. Hey, if it doesn't help anything, but to make you a little sweeter, it will have been worth it.

Btw, you wouldn't, by any chance, have issues with your mother, would you?

quote:

Originally posted by gypsyc:
GoFish, just because you have "assisted" a couple of people, who have heartaches, does not mean that you have any idea of what DS is experiencing. I cannot imagine how you could be any help to anyone. You seem to be cold, uncaring, indifferent, and cynical. I think you would probably be one of the last places I would turn for help, or advice. You also seem to be hateful and judgemental.

I'm the best man for you if you need my kind of services. But I'm obviously not a counselor. But I can easily spot a man who does need counseling. DS needs help. I can smell it a mile away. Those of you who deny that are not "friends." You are the type of people who would buy an alcoholic a beer.

You think I'm "cold hearted" because I feel strongly that DS should get some real help? Doesn't that sound kind of silly? I have personally witnessed the wonderful benefits that a good counselor can provide. I am now passionate about urging people to get help if they are hurting. DS is hurting. He has been hurting for a long time. If you people can't see that, I submit that you are even less sensitive than I.

Someone here needs to say what needs to be said. DS needs help. Professional help. Not a bunch of enablers.

I sill have a name and number for an incredible counselor who has been of tremendous help to me, my family and my friends. PM and you shall have it.

quote:

Originally posted by GoFish:

quote:

Originally posted by gypsyc:
GoFish, just because you have "assisted" a couple of people, who have heartaches, does not mean that you have any idea of what DS is experiencing. I cannot imagine how you could be any help to anyone. You seem to be cold, uncaring, indifferent, and cynical. I think you would probably be one of the last places I would turn for help, or advice. You also seem to be hateful and judgemental.

I'm the best man for you if you need my kind of services. But I'm obviously not a counselor. But I can easily spot a man who does need counseling. DS needs help. I can smell it a mile away. Those of you who deny that are not "friends." You are the type of people who would buy an alcoholic a beer.

You think I'm "cold hearted" because I feel strongly that DS should get some real help? Doesn't that sound kind of silly? I have personally witnessed the wonderful benefits that a good counselor can provide. I am now passionate about urging people to get help if they are hurting. DS is hurting. He has been hurting for a long time. If you people can't see that, I submit that you are even less sensitive than I.

Someone here needs to say what needs to be said. DS needs help. Professional help. Not a bunch of enablers.

I sill have a name and number for an incredible counselor who has been of tremendous help to me, my family and my friends. PM and you shall have it.

I did not deny that professional help may be an option. Where do you get that 'we people' are the type that would buy an alcoholic a beer? These kind of blanket statements are so maddening to me.

How are we enablers? Another blanket statement. Enabling him to do what? Do you believe that because he is hurting and says so that this is something that needs to be stopped, as in drugs or alcohol?

DS simply voiced an issue that is near/dear to his heart. I don't think that he expects us to fix it. I am almost sure that he is not about to jump off a near bridge over this either. He may never solve this issue. Not all issues are solved. Often times, they are managed. I think that he realizes that this is a time managed issue as well.

What is wrong with our showing compassion here? No, we do not know his name. Would his situation change just because we did? Would we give different advice/support if we knew his name?

My point was/is, where you are passionate, you don't seem to be very compassionate.

I don't think that DS wants you to fix this. I think he wants you to listen. I think he wants to know that he is not in this boat alone.

I am glad that you, your family, and friends have been helped thru counseling. That was never and issue. My issue with you, your attitude and insensivtity...maybe more counseling...you still didn't apologize for calling 'strangers' "morons". Passion is one thing, rudeness is something entirely different.

You seem to be a somewhat intelligent person, who may have some interesting insight on several issues. But...the way you come across is offensive. This forum is a place where we discuss issues and exchange ideas, not insults.

I feel that you owe all of us an apology. You made a blanket statement, calling all of us forum morons. I know that you included yourself there, still...if that is your idea of who you are, well...you do know yourself better than anyone else. You do not know the rest of us. You do not need to resort to schoolyard name calling. We can discuss without that. We invite you to join us...just after you apologize.

Gofish, have you considered counseling?

Or Cymbalta? or effexor?

I'm sorry about your problem DOG. I hope things work out for you.

I would like to make a statement and I don't want to offend anyone. You said you were a police officer. I have known several police officers over the years. Most of them have marriage problems. I have heard them blame it on the JOB. That could be true, but I think in most cases it is the the person and the job together.

Policeman seem to hang out in cafes and coffee shops where they meet waitresses, and other females. They also meet a lot of females during their everyday work routine. Some women are attracted to police officers. As man I know it can be hard to turn down a good looking woman's advances when she consistently hits on you.

If your married it can cause trouble. If your single and you fall pray to one of these women you can get caught in a trap. The little head thinks for the big head and all of a sudden your married to a bi-tch.

Could your situation be a result of your position as a LEO?

quote:

Originally posted by GoFish:

quote:

Originally posted by allysmom:
You take comfort in knowing that you do have friends here that care and share that pain with you..

"Friends"? So do y'all hang out? Buy him dinner? Has a single one of you offered to do something "real" for this person?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

Where I come from, folks whose name you don't even know are not called "friends." A friend is someone who will tell you the truth. Even when it hurts.

Especially when it hurts.

I have friends on here, I know them OFF this site.

quote:

Originally posted by gypsyc:

quote:

Originally posted by GoFish:

quote:

Originally posted by gypsyc:
GoFish, just because you have "assisted" a couple of people, who have heartaches, does not mean that you have any idea of what DS is experiencing. I cannot imagine how you could be any help to anyone. You seem to be cold, uncaring, indifferent, and cynical. I think you would probably be one of the last places I would turn for help, or advice. You also seem to be hateful and judgemental.

I'm the best man for you if you need my kind of services. But I'm obviously not a counselor. But I can easily spot a man who does need counseling. DS needs help. I can smell it a mile away. Those of you who deny that are not "friends." You are the type of people who would buy an alcoholic a beer.

You think I'm "cold hearted" because I feel strongly that DS should get some real help? Doesn't that sound kind of silly? I have personally witnessed the wonderful benefits that a good counselor can provide. I am now passionate about urging people to get help if they are hurting. DS is hurting. He has been hurting for a long time. If you people can't see that, I submit that you are even less sensitive than I.

Someone here needs to say what needs to be said. DS needs help. Professional help. Not a bunch of enablers.

I sill have a name and number for an incredible counselor who has been of tremendous help to me, my family and my friends. PM and you shall have it.

I did not deny that professional help may be an option. Where do you get that 'we people' are the type that would buy an alcoholic a beer? These kind of blanket statements are so maddening to me.

How are we enablers? Another blanket statement. Enabling him to do what? Do you believe that because he is hurting and says so that this is something that needs to be stopped, as in drugs or alcohol?

DS simply voiced an issue that is near/dear to his heart. I don't think that he expects us to fix it. I am almost sure that he is not about to jump off a near bridge over this either. He may never solve this issue. Not all issues are solved. Often times, they are managed. I think that he realizes that this is a time managed issue as well.

What is wrong with our showing compassion here? No, we do not know his name. Would his situation change just because we did? Would we give different advice/support if we knew his name?

My point was/is, where you are passionate, you don't seem to be very compassionate.

I don't think that DS wants you to fix this. I think he wants you to listen. I think he wants to know that he is not in this boat alone.

I am glad that you, your family, and friends have been helped thru counseling. That was never and issue. My issue with you, your attitude and insensivtity...maybe more counseling...you still didn't apologize for calling 'strangers' "morons". Passion is one thing, rudeness is something entirely different.

You seem to be a somewhat intelligent person, who may have some interesting insight on several issues. But...the way you come across is offensive. This forum is a place where we discuss issues and exchange ideas, not insults.

I feel that you owe all of us an apology. You made a blanket statement, calling all of us forum morons. I know that you included yourself there, still...if that is your idea of who you are, well...you do know yourself better than anyone else. You do not know the rest of us. You do not need to resort to schoolyard name calling. We can discuss without that. We invite you to join us...just after you apologize.

VERY well said, eloquently even

quote:

Originally posted by GoFish:

quote:

Originally posted by dogsoldier0513:
I hope to God, you never experience the pain this dad has felt.

Who the hell are you to assume I haven't? And you think you got bad? At this very moment, I am assisting a woman who's young son was MURDERED recently. I have another client who's son will killed in a car accident two years ago and she is still a walking zombie.

Look, you've got some very deep, disturbing issues that you need help with. These good folks on this board are too nice to tell you that but it seems to be true. I'm not saying you are disturbed - I don't know you. I'm not saying the issues are your fault, your ex's, your daughter's or anyones else's. You have revealed a few person issues since I've been hanging around here and I think you are a walking time bomb.

When I stated "silly" earlier, it was just a figure of speech. I meant no offense, promise. But turning to us forum morons ("forons") for the serious help you need? Now THAT'S really silly.

So, you can keep whining about your personal issues or seek professional help. That is the best advice you will ever receive. PM me for a name and phone number of someone who really can help.

Or not.

And you want a pat on the back for this,......WHY????????

You got PAID for it, didn't you???

quote:

Originally posted by GoFish:

quote:

Originally posted by allysmom:
You take comfort in knowing that you do have friends here that care and share that pain with you..

"Friends"? So do y'all hang out? Buy him dinner? Has a single one of you offered to do something "real" for this person?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

Where I come from, folks whose name you don't even know are not called "friends." A friend is someone who will tell you the truth. Even when it hurts.

Especially when it hurts.

For your info, yes I do know dogsoldiers name and the names of many more on here. Met lots of them. Jealous?? and if I had never met him, there is nothing wrong with feeling the pain that him, or someone else is going through. So what if you have "assisted" someone that has been through something devastating in their lives, big difference in assisting someone and living through it yourself. I have not seen one ounce of anger from dogsoldier, only hurt, and he wanted to share that hurt with his "friends", and that is better than keeping it all bottled up inside him... you should know that..

quote:

Originally posted by allysmom:

quote:

Originally posted by GoFish:

quote:

Originally posted by allysmom:
You take comfort in knowing that you do have friends here that care and share that pain with you..

"Friends"? So do y'all hang out? Buy him dinner? Has a single one of you offered to do something "real" for this person?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

Where I come from, folks whose name you don't even know are not called "friends." A friend is someone who will tell you the truth. Even when it hurts.

Especially when it hurts.

For your info, yes I do know dogsoldiers name and the names of many more on here. Met lots of them. Jealous?? and if I had never met him, there is nothing wrong with feeling the pain that him, or someone else is going through. So what if you have "assisted" someone that has been through something devastating in their lives, big difference in assisting someone and living through it yourself. I have not seen one ounce of anger from dogsoldier, only hurt, and he wanted to share that hurt with his "friends", and that is better than keeping it all bottled up inside him... you should know that..

I love the way you said that!!!

I just get the 'feeling' that there are some people on this planet that REFUSES to be happy and accept people for who they are and what they say.

I know this has gotten way bigger than dogsoldier ever intended. He only stated his frustration about a life issue concerning something very dear to him. He never, not once asked for advise. He only chose to share this info with us because he knew we would share the pain with him.
Most of the times the best therapy, is to just be heard. Sometimes you can feel all alone with your pain, it does a person a lot of help just to know that you are not the only person to have experienced what you go through in life. If dogsoldier thinks he needs professional help, that is his business, and not for any of us to decide. I would hate to think of what this world would be like if we all had to go to a shrink to deal all our troubles.
Gofish, you are entirely out of line to make such a suggestion, but it is clear you are not normal. You have proven that many times over on this board. You really need to wake up and realize where you are wrong. I suggest you try to see things through others eyes for once, and realize it is not all about yourself. There are many different lifestyles and opinions, and it takes them all to make the cog complete. I do see some of your opinions worthy, but you cross the line to many times by being judgmental on others and when you start calling names, you certainly do not win any points. Lighten up and try to understand others thoughts before you make judgment.

quote:

Originally posted by unclegus:
I know this has gotten way bigger than dogsoldier ever intended. He only stated his frustration about a life issue concerning something very dear to him. He never, not once asked for advise. He only chose to share this info with us because he knew we would share the pain with him.
Most of the times the best therapy, is to just be heard. Sometimes you can feel all alone with your pain, it does a person a lot of help just to know that you are not the only person to have experienced what you go through in life. If dogsoldier thinks he needs professional help, that is his business, and not for any of us to decide. I would hate to think of what this world would be like if we all had to go to a shrink to deal all our troubles.
Gofish, you are entirely out of line to make such a suggestion, but it is clear you are not normal. You have proven that many times over on this board. You really need to wake up and realize where you are wrong. I suggest you try to see things through others eyes for once, and realize it is not all about yourself. There are many different lifestyles and opinions, and it takes them all to make the cog complete. I do see some of your opinions worthy, but you cross the line to many times by being judgmental on others and when you start calling names, you certainly do not win any points. Lighten up and try to understand others thoughts before you make judgment.

unclegus, you are my HERO of the day!!!!

Amen and Ditto!

quote:

Originally posted by unclegus:
Gofish, you are entirely out of line to make such a suggestion, but it is clear you are not normal. You have proven that many times over on this board. You really need to wake up and realize where you are wrong.

I'm "wrong" to suggest that someone in pain get some help? How the hell is that even slightly out of line, much less "utterly" out of line? I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone!

I will readily apologize if I have truly said someone truly offensive but telling DS that he needs professional help is about as offensive as suggesting you take an aspirin!

Ever since I joined up here, DS has reveled quite a bit about himself. None of that is happy. He can't find a job. He's lonely. Has an abusive ex. Has a daughter with no balls. He has some serious issues folks. Much more than the average person has to deal with.

AND YOU PEOPLE ARE OFFENDED THAT I SUGGEST HE GET SOME HELP?

I just don't see what in the world y'all are getting so freaking upset about. This is just crazy.

quote:

Originally posted by GoFish:

quote:

Originally posted by unclegus:
Gofish, you are entirely out of line to make such a suggestion, but it is clear you are not normal. You have proven that many times over on this board. You really need to wake up and realize where you are wrong.

I'm "wrong" to suggest that someone in pain get some help? How the hell is that even slightly out of line, much less "utterly" out of line? I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone!

I will readily apologize if I have truly said someone truly offensive but telling DS that he needs professional help is about as offensive as suggesting you take an aspirin!

Ever since I joined up here, DS has reveled quite a bit about himself. None of that is happy. He can't find a job. He's lonely. Has an abusive ex. Has a daughter with no balls. He has some serious issues folks. Much more than the average person has to deal with.

AND YOU PEOPLE ARE OFFENDED THAT I SUGGEST HE GET SOME HELP?

I just don't see what in the world y'all are getting so freaking upset about. This is just crazy.

What is crazy, is the fact that you cannot be reasoned with. You have been told numerous times, by any number of people, that your communication skills are lacking. You just don't seem to get it.

Nor do you get it that you shoud apologize for calling an entire mass of people morons.

Do you know the definition of crazy? It is continuing to do the same thing/things and expecting different results.

You continue to be rude and offensive and expect respect and understanding. Not going to happen.

DS did not say that he was lonely. He is not the only one that I know of that is not really impressed by the behavior of his ex...could be why she is his ex. You have absolutely no right saying rude things about his daughter. Again, you do not know her. He understands, where you do not, that his daughter was put in a bad situation. Her mother was making demands and very well could have ruined her wedding, had her father shown up. What would you have told her do? I can only imagine.

As for him not being able to get a job...my understanding is that he has not been able to find a job in his line of work...that he wants. He is evidentally overqualified for what is available, from what I understand.

Again, I don't think he enlisted you to solve any of his problems. He simply voiced his frustrations as to what was happening with his daughter and her wedding. He did no more, and no less than the rest of us do at any given time. We are here, on a discussion forum, to discuss.

I don't think that there is a person on here who is without faults or problems. Some of us have more than others. You seem to have a lot of problems. Maybe you could start listening to advice, maybe more counseling, maybe meditation...whatever will help. I want you to know that we are all in support of you getting some kind of help for your anger issues, the attitude, etc. We are a caring bunch, and we will be right in your corner, if you learn to play nice. Until then, you still owe us an apology. We are not morons.

quote:

Originally posted by gypsyc:

quote:

Originally posted by GoFish:

quote:

Originally posted by unclegus:
Gofish, you are entirely out of line to make such a suggestion, but it is clear you are not normal. You have proven that many times over on this board. You really need to wake up and realize where you are wrong.

I'm "wrong" to suggest that someone in pain get some help? How the hell is that even slightly out of line, much less "utterly" out of line? I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone!

I will readily apologize if I have truly said someone truly offensive but telling DS that he needs professional help is about as offensive as suggesting you take an aspirin!

Ever since I joined up here, DS has reveled quite a bit about himself. None of that is happy. He can't find a job. He's lonely. Has an abusive ex. Has a daughter with no balls. He has some serious issues folks. Much more than the average person has to deal with.

AND YOU PEOPLE ARE OFFENDED THAT I SUGGEST HE GET SOME HELP?

I just don't see what in the world y'all are getting so freaking upset about. This is just crazy.

What is crazy, is the fact that you cannot be reasoned with. You have been told numerous times, by any number of people, that your communication skills are lacking. You just don't seem to get it.

Nor do you get it that you shoud apologize for calling an entire mass of people morons.

Do you know the definition of crazy? It is continuing to do the same thing/things and expecting different results.

You continue to be rude and offensive and expect respect and understanding. Not going to happen.

DS did not say that he was lonely. He is not the only one that I know of that is not really impressed by the behavior of his ex...could be why she is his ex. You have absolutely no right saying rude things about his daughter. Again, you do not know her. He understands, where you do not, that his daughter was put in a bad situation. Her mother was making demands and very well could have ruined her wedding, had her father shown up. What would you have told her do? I can only imagine.

As for him not being able to get a job...my understanding is that he has not been able to find a job in his line of work...that he wants. He is evidentally overqualified for what is available, from what I understand.

Again, I don't think he enlisted you to solve any of his problems. He simply voiced his frustrations as to what was happening with his daughter and her wedding. He did no more, and no less than the rest of us do at any given time. We are here, on a discussion forum, to discuss.

I don't think that there is a person on here who is without faults or problems. Some of us have more than others. You seem to have a lot of problems. Maybe you could start listening to advice, maybe more counseling, maybe meditation...whatever will help. I want you to know that we are all in support of you getting some kind of help for your anger issues, the attitude, etc. We are a caring bunch, and we will be right in your corner, if you learn to play nice. Until then, you still owe us an apology. We are not morons.

Nothing more can be added, you said it all.

Gofish, this would be a good time to: Go fish.

quote:

Originally posted by GoFish:

quote:

Originally posted by unclegus:
Gofish, you are entirely out of line to make such a suggestion, but it is clear you are not normal. You have proven that many times over on this board. You really need to wake up and realize where you are wrong.

I'm "wrong" to suggest that someone in pain get some help? How the hell is that even slightly out of line, much less "utterly" out of line? I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone!

I will readily apologize if I have truly said someone truly offensive but telling DS that he needs professional help is about as offensive as suggesting you take an aspirin!

Ever since I joined up here, DS has reveled quite a bit about himself. None of that is happy. He can't find a job. He's lonely. Has an abusive ex. Has a daughter with no balls. He has some serious issues folks. Much more than the average person has to deal with.

AND YOU PEOPLE ARE OFFENDED THAT I SUGGEST HE GET SOME HELP?

I just don't see what in the world y'all are getting so freaking upset about. This is just crazy.

First of all, if ya from the south, its "ya'll" not "y'all".... y'all is you all,.... we dont say that here. Second, you are an arrogant jerk. Some thought it, i said it. Third, IMHO, you arent qualified to tell DS he needs help...... he only posted this problem because he needed to talk,.... that doesnt mean he is mental,..... just means he is human. Forth i am not offended...... i knew you were a jerk before this thread. Fifth,..... im not gonna say it...... i'll get banned.

First, DS, your daughter is beautiful. I'm so very sorry that things didn't work out so that you did get to attend the wedding.

As for counseling, any of us could benefit from counseling; however, in this case, I think you may just need some time to recover from this emotional slap in the face.

I hope you don't mind if I ask one personal question, since you brought the subject up. You say your wife, if I understand correctly, was a good and faithful companion to you for 25 years before she changed. I may have inferred too much here--let me know if I did. If she only became vitriolic due to an emotional upset about her father (and this seems like a whopper of an upset), did you try to stick by her at first and see that she get some counseling? Could your daughter blame you for not doing this?

quote:

Originally posted by OriginalBama:
First of all, if ya from the south, its "ya'll" not "y'all".... y'all is you all,....

Umm, no, y'all is spelled y'all. In English, you place the apostrophe where a word or words are missing.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Y'all

I guess that does kind of illustrate a point though: Y'ALL are uneducated. Y'ALL still live in a time where the suggestion of getting professional help carries a stigma.

In these modern times, there is no such stigma.

At least a couple of people have PM'd me to let me know that I'm right on about DS needing some help. Thank you to those folks for restoring my faith that at least some of Y'ALL aren't completely losing it.

I was evidently not aware that "getting "professional help" still carries a stigma for some folks. That is truly sad.

Gofish, quit it. Nobody is worried about counseling being a stigma. They're just telling you that on this particular thread the guy just wanted to vent about the ex. If all of us had to be counseled every time an ex pisses us off, we'd be lined up like women at public bathrooms. And they aren't uneducated, doofus.

I personally think everybody could benefit from counseling. Thing is, pretty much every counselor I've known has gotten into that business because of their own "issues".

Your being so negative and grumpy all the time makes it hard to put faith in a positive referral from you, buddy.

quote:

Originally posted by vick13:
Gofish, quit it. Nobody is worried about counseling being a stigma. They're just telling you that on this particular thread the guy just wanted to vent about the ex. If all of us had to be counseled every time an ex pisses us off, we'd be lined up like women at public bathrooms. And they aren't uneducated, doofus.

I personally think everybody could benefit from counseling. Thing is, pretty much every counselor I've known has gotten into that business because of their own "issues".

Your being so negative and grumpy all the time makes it hard to put faith in a positive referral from you, buddy.

Thank you, yet another voice of reason.

quote:

Originally posted by vick13:
Gofish, quit it. Nobody is worried about counseling being a stigma. They're just telling you that on this particular thread the guy just wanted to vent about the ex. If all of us had to be counseled every time an ex pisses us off, we'd be lined up like women at public bathrooms. And they aren't uneducated, doofus.

I personally think everybody could benefit from counseling. Thing is, pretty much every counselor I've known has gotten into that business because of their own "issues".

Your being so negative and grumpy all the time makes it hard to put faith in a positive referral from you, buddy.

AMEN Vick, and very well said!!!

quote:

Originally posted by Confederate Pride:
I'm sorry about your problem DOG. I hope things work out for you.

I would like to make a statement and I don't want to offend anyone. You said you were a police officer. I have known several police officers over the years. Most of them have marriage problems. I have heard them blame it on the JOB. That could be true, but I think in most cases it is the the person and the job together.

Policeman seem to hang out in cafes and coffee shops where they meet waitresses, and other females. They also meet a lot of females during their everyday work routine. Some women are attracted to police officers. As man I know it can be hard to turn down a good looking woman's advances when she consistently hits on you.

If your married it can cause trouble. If your single and you fall pray to one of these women you can get caught in a trap. The little head thinks for the big head and all of a sudden your married to a bi-tch.

Could your situation be a result of your position as a LEO?

CP, your 'reposting' your last comment implies that YOU think I was, in some way, 'ducking' it. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I was at work.

I am WELL AWARE of the trials and temptations LEOs face in their line of work. The temptation to 'abuse the position' is always there. The same can be said for doctors, or anyone else in a high stress job.

However, what you implied 'might' have happened, didn't. BUT...was my job as an LEO 'at fault' in some way? Perhaps. I enjoyed it. There is no denying it. And as such, I worked every hour I could. As a part-time LEO, I often averaged 100 hours/month. This was IN ADDITON TO being a full-time teacher.

There is NOTHING like 'running code' to a call and not knowing what you're going to find. There is NOTHING as satisfying as placing cuffs on a spousal abuser. There is NOTHING like having little kids run TOWARDS you, when you pull into their housing project...instead of AWAY from you.

Since I was patrolling the town in which my students lived, I had a VESTED INTEREST in what went on in OUR town. Most of those spectators killed and injured in the Cars for Kids tragedy last Father's Day weekend were MY former students. You have no ida what I felt upon hearing what happened. As fate would have it, my wife and I arrived at the event immediately following the accident, totally unaware of what had just transpired. That is the only time I have thanked God that I wasn't still working as an officer in that town.

Yes, there was an 'incident' involving my EX...an 'accusation', actually...and I stood by her 100%. However, in looking back, in light of events over the past 3+ years, I now have my doubts.

BTW...as some of my 'friends' on here are aware, I have found employment in my chosen profession. Thanks for all the well-wishes and prayers.

Dog, seriously, it's none of anybody on this forum's business if you have a string of honeys. (Or waitresses). That's between you and your conscience. You don't have to explain. Really.

Everybody has an "ex" story. Or stories. It doesn't make us sane but it doesn't make us crazy either.

quote:

Everybody has an "ex" story. Or stories. It doesn't make us sane but it doesn't make us crazy either.

it makes us human.

[Quote]GoFish: At this very moment, I am assisting a woman who's young son was MURDERED recently. I have another client who's son will killed in a car accident two years ago and she is still a walking zombie.[Quote]

YOU are assisting people that are grieving???? With your attitude about life & people in general, I feel sorry for these people that you are assisting! Someone needs to step in, get your butt out of the way and find them some compassionate help.

DG has more compassion & love in his little finger than you do in your entire body!

quote:

Originally posted by Taciturn:
DG has more compassion & love in his little finger than you do in your entire body!

With respect, you "know" me about as well as I "know" you. Please people, we are anonymous avatars conversing with other anonymous avatars. No one "knows" anyone here (except for those who personally know each other). As far as we know, DS (or you or me) could be a wife beater or a saint.

Before I let this one go, can someone tell me: Exactly what did I say that was so offensive in my first post? Was it the "us morons" quote or . . . What? I really do not understand.

Probably something along the lines of "uneducated" etc. You're not intentionally offensive, Fish. I am sure you mean well (really sure you mean well) but sometimes you come across as arrogant. If you notice I've been accused of the same thing and I KNOW I don't mean to sound arrogant.

Gofish, I don't doubt you have good intentions. You should really work on your presentations. Instead of calling people names and telling them they need to do something, try for one time making a suggestion instead of putting them below you. Try looking others in the eye instead of being so athoritive.
For instance: If you had asked DS, have you considered talking to a professional? instead of you need to seek professional help. It would make a big difference. Try to think about the way others are going to react before you make your statement. It just might get you a long way as far as showing concern about others.

quote:

Originally posted by GoFish:
can someone tell me: Exactly what did I say that was so offensive in my first post? I really do not understand.

Why don't you go back to the beginning of this discussion? Read what DS had to say, then read your comments. If you concentrate real hard, you just may get it!

[QUOTE]Originally posted by vick13:
You're not intentionally offensive, Fish.
[QUOTE]

I think he is "intentionally offensive".

quote:

Originally posted by unclegus:
try for one time making a suggestion instead of putting them below you. Try looking others in the eye instead of being so athoritive.

Probably good advice, Unk. Thanks. I did mean it as a suggestion but, given my reputation of occasionally stirring the post, I do understand how it could have come off differently. I'll try to work harder on conveying my true emotions. Here is my entire original post. I presume most of you read it imagining me with an angry grimace on my face:

"Have you considered counseling? You REALLY need to talk to someone besides us if you want to settle this silly situation once and for all. Seriously, you need help."

Now read it again but imagine me typing it looking like Jesus painted on velvet. THAT'S how it was intended and I stand by my assertion. If his various writings here are any indication, DS needs counseling more than any person I actually DO know.

If Y'ALL still find that offensive, well "kiss it" is about the nicest thing I can say.

I am happy we are able to work this out. I have to put some thought on what I put on here. Sometimes I read what I type before I post it, and think, that is to offensive. Sometimes I can re-word it, most of the times I just have to refrain from posting my thoughts. If someone steps over the line, I wind up letting it all out.
One very important thing to keep in mind is, always be prepared to back up and appoligise if someone calls you on your words. It is a whole lot easier to move along, then to have a whole group of people opposite of you because of a wrong wording.
I am not perfect, and as I have said before, you could write a whole big book on what I don't know, but I am willing to learn. Something else I learned from Dog the bounty hunter is, anytime you bring someone down, it is real important to bring them back up before you depart, this is something you may not get a second chance to do. I prefer to have friends than enemies.

quote:

Originally posted by GoFish:

quote:

Originally posted by unclegus:
try for one time making a suggestion instead of putting them below you. Try looking others in the eye instead of being so athoritive.

Probably good advice, Unk. Thanks. I did mean it as a suggestion but, given my reputation of occasionally stirring the post, I do understand how it could have come off differently. I'll try to work harder on conveying my true emotions. Here is my entire original post. I presume most of you read it imagining me with an angry grimace on my face:

"Have you considered counseling? You REALLY need to talk to someone besides us if you want to settle this silly situation once and for all. Seriously, you need help."

Now read it again but imagine me typing it looking like Jesus painted on velvet. THAT'S how it was intended and I stand by my assertion. If his various writings here are any indication, DS needs counseling more than any person I actually DO know.

If Y'ALL still find that offensive, well "kiss it" is about the nicest thing I can say.

There are some very smart people here on this forum, I mean VERY smart.

But I do NOT think that any of them can tell by one's typing if they need professional help or not. Oh it can be said in anger or frustration.

But no one knows for sure, and to SAY it, and then stand behind it after so many told you they didn't think so, is just plain insulting to anyone on this site with half a brain.

quote:

Originally posted by GoFish:
Probably good advice, Unk.

VERY good advice he gave you. Now if you could just take it & apply it to yourself!

[Quote]I did mean it as a suggestion but, reputation of occasionally stirring the post, I do understand how it could have come off differently.[Quote]

You do indeed have a way of stirring the pot! If someone says yes, you are definitely going to say no.

[Quote]I'll try to work harder on conveying my true emotions.[Quote]

That would be nice, but I don't think you have a compassionate nature.

[Quote]Now read it again but imagine me typing it looking like Jesus painted on velvet.[Quote]

IMPOSSIBLE! Since you are a self proclaimed atheist, why would you even make a statement like that? (Don't answer that question)

[Quote]THAT'S how it was intended and I stand by my assertion. If his various writings here are any indication, DS needs counseling more than any person I actually DO know.
If Y'ALL still find that offensive, well "kiss it" is about the nicest thing I can say.

You just can't find it in yourself to apologize to DS, and leave it at that, can you?

quote:

Originally posted by Taciturn:

quote:

Originally posted by GoFish:
Probably good advice, Unk.

VERY good advice he gave you. Now if you could just take it & apply it to yourself!

[Quote]I did mean it as a suggestion but, reputation of occasionally stirring the post, I do understand how it could have come off differently.[Quote]

You do indeed have a way of stirring the pot! If someone says yes, you are definitely going to say no.

[Quote]I'll try to work harder on conveying my true emotions.[Quote]

That would be nice, but I don't think you have a compassionate nature.

[Quote]Now read it again but imagine me typing it looking like Jesus painted on velvet.[Quote]

IMPOSSIBLE! Since you are a self proclaimed atheist, why would you even make a statement like that? (Don't answer that question)

[Quote]THAT'S how it was intended and I stand by my assertion. If his various writings here are any indication, DS needs counseling more than any person I actually DO know.
If Y'ALL still find that offensive, well "kiss it" is about the nicest thing I can say.

You just can't find it in yourself to apologize to DS, and leave it at that, can you?

I do not know of ANYONE who likes THAT much ego, do you???

quote:

Originally posted by Kindred:
is just plain insulting to anyone on this site with half a brain

No . . . Not going to go there . . . Will not say it . . . People will hate me even mo' . . .<struggle, struggle>

Thanks to Unk's timely advice, I will refrain, thank you.

LOL, you got that right!!! But the thing is, people on here has known you for a while now, and everyone who offered you support and caring MEANT it.

Too bad some others can't realize that. You think someone like that needs counseling?????

Dog, you look scary this morning . Trick or treat.

Yeah, I felt like a 'makeover'...

quote:

Originally posted by dogsoldier0513:
CP, your 'reposting' your last comment implies that YOU think I was, in some way, 'ducking' it. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I was at work.

I am WELL AWARE of the trials and temptations LEOs face in their line of work. The temptation to 'abuse the position' is always there. The same can be said for doctors, or anyone else in a high stress job.

However, what you implied 'might' have happened, didn't. BUT...was my job as an LEO 'at fault' in some way? Perhaps. I enjoyed it. There is no denying it. And as such, I worked every hour I could. As a part-time LEO, I often averaged 100 hours/month. This was IN ADDITON TO being a full-time teacher.

There is NOTHING like 'running code' to a call and not knowing what you're going to find. There is NOTHING as satisfying as placing cuffs on a spousal abuser. There is NOTHING like having little kids run TOWARDS you, when you pull into their housing project...instead of AWAY from you.

Since I was patrolling the town in which my students lived, I had a VESTED INTEREST in what went on in OUR town. Most of those spectators killed and injured in the Cars for Kids tragedy last Father's Day weekend were MY former students. You have no ida what I felt upon hearing what happened. As fate would have it, my wife and I arrived at the event immediately following the accident, totally unaware of what had just transpired. That is the only time I have thanked God that I wasn't still working as an officer in that town.

Yes, there was an 'incident' involving my EX...an 'accusation', actually...and I stood by her 100%. However, in looking back, in light of events over the past 3+ years, I now have my doubts.

BTW...as some of my 'friends' on here are aware, I have found employment in my chosen profession. Thanks for all the well-wishes and prayers.

No DS, I reposted because I saw all the responses after mine and I thought you might have skipped it. I never thought you would dodge the question. I also know there is always 3 sides to a story, yours, hers, and the truth. That goes for almost any situation. I never said you abused the position.

I was only asking the questions I asked for my own information.

By the way the remark you made about spousal abuse bothers me."There is NOTHING as satisfying as placing cuffs on a spousal abuser." There are a lot of LEO's that automatically decide the man is guilty upon the sight of a screaming crying female. This is not alway the case. I have seen plenty of women put on one hell of an act just to get guys like you to arrest their husbands.

I saw a woman last year in Oak Hill subdivision out side screaming bloody murder that her husband was beating her. When the police arrived and went inside with the husband they came back out and arrested her. I was glad to see some true police work being done.

I truly do hope your situation improves to your satisfaction. My experience has shown me that most things get better with time.

Good Luck Dog Soldier.

quote:

osted 15 October 2007 12:21 PM Hide Post

quote:
Originally posted by Kindred:
is just plain insulting to anyone on this site with half a brain



No . . . Not going to go there . . . Will not say it . . . People will hate me even mo' . . .<struggle, struggle>

Thanks to Unk's timely advice, I will refrain, thank you. Wink

I am so PROUD of you! It was difficult I know, but you handled that like a big boy! Now, go get a cookie.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by vick13:
I am so PROUD of you!

Me too!!! See how easy that was??

[QUOTE]Originally posted by vick13: Now, go get a cookie.

And a glass of milk!

quote:

Originally posted by Kindred:
I do not know of ANYONE who likes THAT much ego, do you???

He definitely has more than he possibly needs!!

quote:

By the way the remark you made about spousal abuse bothers me."There is NOTHING as satisfying as placing cuffs on a spousal abuser." There are a lot of LEO's that automatically decide the man is guilty upon the sight of a screaming crying female. This is not alway the case. I have seen plenty of women put on one hell of an act just to get guys like you to arrest their husbands.

I'm sorry if this 'bothers' you, but I gained IMMENSE satisfaction in the times I made such arrests. (IIRC, I used the term 'spousal abuser'. At no time did I infer that I only arrested MALE 'spousal abusers'.)

Such arrests were even MORE gratifying when the cases came to trial and the abuser pled 'guilty'. FWIW, I've arrested my fair share of FEMALE spousal abusers, too. The last one had her ex-husband pinned against his pickup with her own car. She then STOMPED on the gas, burning rubber on bare ground.

Just a train of thought, would you stand by your current wife if she developed emotional problems?